Phora - Father lyrics

Yeah, alone in this room, just me and my conscious Wondering if the lords really watching cause If he is then tell me why I've been going through hell Lately and I just don't feel like heavens an option Look, I feel the guilt pouring in I wonder if he feels my pain Cause everyday its getting more intense Moms could barely afford the rent Had to do some shady sh** to survive But I just hope the lord forgives Is he forgiving like they say he is Is there anyway away from this Is there even anyplace where kids go when they pa** away I heard somebody say there is But I don't know who to trust no more And grandma said I really shouldn't cuss no more But I just tell her "I'mma try" and knowing I'mma stay the same I try to change so many times, I can't adjust no more sh**, but father when will I see more smiles and frowns Where do I go when I'm buried deep in the ground Father why is the world never holding me up I feel like I'm always letting you down I feel like I'm always letting you down I feel like I'm always letting you down I often wonder bout who I'm a disappointment to But no matter how good you do, they still point at you Sometimes I don't know how I get through the day Cause even though you see me smile, it don't mean I'm okay I just don't wanna be bothered with questions Father why these cats always causing problems I've been constantly stressing sh**, I wonder if he's even listening to me Searching for answers, but ain't nobody giving em' to me Plus my girl needs attention, I can feel the tension My pops is on a drinking binge And he's on the break of an intervention But he taught me so much with only his actions What I learned from him, he would never imagine If there was something that I would want him to know Every mistake he made, it was all meant to happen No time wasted cause I learned from it all Made me a better man inside, made me learn when I fall There's always a reason to get back up on your feet So if you hear me lord, I hope you could answer this for me Father when will I see more smiles and frowns Where do I go when I'm buried deep in the ground Father why is the world never holding me up I feel like I'm always letting you down I feel like I'm always letting you down