Phish - Trials & Tribulations lyrics

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Phish - Trials & Tribulations lyrics

The swiss miss girl made her fortune Doing commercials on tv But "easy come, easy go" was Her philosophy She spent all of her money She was searching for some cash So she went to her friend capt 'n crunch Whom she'd met at a hollywood bash The second that he saw her He said, "i bet you're in need Of some dough" Perplexed and confused she asked him, "oh but captain how did you know? " Laughingly he responded, "it was really just a lucky hunch" With tears in her eyes she pleaded, "will you help me out capt 'n crunch? " The trials and tribulations Of the swiss miss girl She's got a famous reputation And she's known throughout the world But life's no bed of roses She would change things if she could She plans to make a brand new start And move out of hollywood The captain now was grinning He felt he had her in the palm of his hand He said, "darlin' you're a penniless woman And I'm a wealthy man" You know the rules of the game by now I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine He said, "let me take you out And we'll talk about this Over a bottle of wine" The swiss miss girl was disgusted And she smacked him right in his face Then she took his hat And she stamped on that Just to put him in his place But the old man was persistent He would not be undaunted The more that he'd been taunted The more she turned him on Then the captain made a pa** at the swiss miss girl Tryin' to show her his affection She screamed for help and when she did... Mr. clean came to her protection The trials and tribulations Of the swiss miss girl She's got a famous reputation And she's known throughout the world But life's no bed of roses She would change things if she could She plans to make a brand new start And move out of hollywood