Sing softly the cherries Red, red, sweet and good; Sing apples and oranges, The cinnamon food. Dance swiftly the cider, Spin more than you should; For liquor and laughter Will lighten your load. Declaim the roast turkey And riddle the sauce; Potatoes are stories Of riches and loss. Pipe merrily carrots, Drum beets till they bleed; They root down to darkness Who started as seed. Oh, candy the greetings You give to your guests; The wa**ail is fleeting And life ends in d**h. So taffy your handshake And ginger the kiss; Bake huggings like muffins A brave eucharist. Be feast for our Christmas And I'll be the food; Beg Christ to a**ist us In everything good