Peter Scherer - Only An Expert lyrics

Now only an expert can deal with the problem Because half the problem is seeing the problem And only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem So if there's no expert dealing with the problem It's really actually twice the problem Cause only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem Now in America we like solutions We like solutions to problems And there's so many companies that offer solutions Companies with names like Pet Solution The Hair Solution. The Debt Solution. The World Solution. The Sushi Solution Companies with experts ready to solve the problems Cause only an expert can see there's a problem And only an expert can deal with the problem Only and expert can deal with the problem Now let's say you're invited to be on Oprah And you don't have a problem But you want to go on the show, so you need a problem So you invent a problem But if you're not an expert in problems You're probably not going to invent a very plausible problem And so you're probably going to get nailed You're going to get exposed You're going to have to bow down and apologize And beg for the public's forgiveness Cause only an expert can see there's a problem And only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem Now on these shows, the shows that try to solve your problems The big question is always "How can I get control? How can I take control?" But don't forget this is a question for the regular viewer The person who's barely getting by The person who's watching shows about people with problems The person who's part of the 60% of the U.S. population 1.3 weeks away, 1.3 pay checks away from homelessness In other words, a person with problems So when experts say, "Let's get to the root of the problem Let's take control of the problem So if you take control of the problem you can solve the problem." Now often this doesn't work at all because the situation is completely out of control Cause only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem So who are these experts? Experts are usually self-appointed people or elected officials Or people sk**ed in sales techniques, trained or self-taught To focus on things that might be identified as problems Now sometimes these things are not actually problems But the expert is someone who studies the problem And tries to solve the problem The expert is someone who carries malpractice insurance Because often the solution becomes the problem Cause only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem Now sometimes experts look for weapons And sometimes they look everywhere for weapons And sometimes when they don't find any weapons Sometimes other experts say, "If you haven't found any weapons It doesn't mean there are no weapons." And other experts looking for weapons find things like cleaning fluids And refrigerator rods. And small magnets. And they say "These things may look like common objects to you But in our opinion, they could be weapons Or they could be used to make weapons Or they could be used to ship weapons Or to store weapons." Cause only an expert can see they might be weapons And only an expert can see they might be problems Cause only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem And sometimes, if it's really really really hot And it's July in January And there's no more snow and huge waves are wiping out cities And hurricanes are everywhere And everyone knows it's a problem But if some of the experts say it's no problem And other experts claim it's no problem Or explain why it's no problem Then it's simply not a problem But when an expert says it's a problem And makes a movie and wins an Oscar about the problem Then all the other experts have to agree that it is most likely a problem Cause only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem And even though a county can invade another country And flatten it. And ruin it. And create havoc and civil war in that other country If the experts say that it's not a problem And everyone agrees that they're experts good at seeing problems Then invading that country is simply not a problem And if a country tortures people And holds citizens without cause or trial and sets up military tribunals This is also not a problem Unless there's an expert who says it's the beginning of a problem Cause only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can see there's a problem And see the problem is half the problem And only an expert can deal with the problem Only an expert can deal with the problem