Unhand me I am not a criminal Though I've played a guilty part In the modern sense that one pretends Their life is original I wrote a book and I will call it something cynical The story's slow the hero does not change (And if he can then he won't anyway) Instead his foes and lovers all become identical I fled the country I thought I'd leave this behind But I built the same damn house On every acre I could find And I tried to fake my own d**h Just shake the devils from my mind And I said Unhand me I am not a criminal If I am I paid the man just let me go Soon enough you will be dancing at my funeral