Paul Heaton - Man, Girl, Boy, Woman lyrics

Every man in this world thinks he's got a big nose or a slightly under average size knob Shout big nose or maggot in a crowded bar And just wait for the seething mob But the truth be known those smaller nose guys ain't no better, no longer on the job They've got the same size nose and the same size co*k But a hell of a lot more gob Cause gob easily camouflages physique like it camouflages self doubt From those muscle men at the gym working hard to be a him To those who speak loud but say nowt All the girls in this world who watch their bodies unfurl get given too big, too small or just flat And decider of the size is one of many wise guys With a brain half the size of his sack But the truth be known any breast that you own will have admirers from all over this land Some will only stare at a particular pair But most will just take what's in their hands So hands up your jumper you're enjoying yourself let yourself squeeze your own pair At least in years ahead when they dig up our dead They'll know the fairer s** wasn't all fair All the boys in this world whose hair never curled as promised if they ate all their greens Are digging like mad so when they're finally Dad They've got the produce to be equally mean But the truth be known it wasn't meant to mean just a little way to give you a scare So those who ate their sprouts Are right to have doubts Cause half of them are losing their hair So boys without curls shout to the girls for loving us curly or not And all my black mates who thought their's would go straight You didn't have to finish the lot Every woman in this world who's ever sat at the wheel knows who really chooses her course If he takes corners and bends so well How come he can't negotiate yours And the truth be known you've only hit one cone and he didn't even see you do that And just to rub salt, you said the cone was at fault And not the person who was sat on your lap So big nigh five to the ladies that drive even higher for deliberately slow Cause all a lady loves is a man in driving gloves Out of petrol on a road he don't know