Paul Durcan - Wife Who Smashed Television Gets Jail lyrics

'She came home, my Lord, and smashed-in the television; Me and the kids were peaceably watching Kojak When she marched into the living room and declared That if I didn't turn off the television immediately She'd put her boot through the screen; I didn't turn it off, so instead she turned it off - I remember the moment exactly because Kojak After shooting a dame with the same name as my wife Snarled at the corpse - Goodnight, Queen Maeve - And then she took off her boots and smashed-in the television; I had to bring the kids round to my mother's place; We got there just before the finish of Kojak; (My mother has a fondness for Kojak, my Lord); When I returned home my wife had deposited What was left of the television into the dustbin, Saying - I didn't get married to a television And I don't see why my kids or anybody else's kids Should have a television for a father or a mother, We'd be much better off all down in the pub talking Or playing bar-billiards - Whereupon she disappeared off back down again to the pub.' Justice O'Brádaigh said wives who preferred bar-billiards to family television Were a threat to the family which was the basic unit of society As indeed the television itself could said to be a basic unit of the family And when as in this case wives expressed their preference in forms of violence Jail was the only place for them. Leave to appeal was refused.