Paul And Storm - The Ballad of Eddie Praeger lyrics

There on the barstool sat old Eddie Praeger Filled with three Schlitzes and three shots o' rye Joe the bartender poured two shots of Jäger Old Eddie downed them with a belch and a sigh The bartender thought that he heard Eddie mumble About "draining the lizard," then he asked for one more He pushed back his stool and resignedly stumbled To the room with the stick-figure man on the door Down in the basin sat a faded pink discus A urinal cake near the end of its days Tired and misshapen, smelling slightly of citrus A lifetime of battles had it worn near away Eddie regarded his sweet-smelling rival And began to attend to the business at hand The condom dispenser and the 60-watt light bulb Bore silent witness to the cake's final stand CHORUS Eroding, eroding, eroding away O, the cake, she was bound to go under that day Eroding, eroding, eroding away And with one final flush She was gone Old Eddie fumbled into launch position Drunkenly struggling to undo his fly The cake stood prepared for her suicide mission To stand through the deluge of the oncoming tide The urinal cake stared at old Eddie Praeger Or maybe it would have, if it had had eyes Eddie unloaded his Schlitz, rye and Jäger The cake sat there slowly reducing in size He paused for a moment, o'ercome with a shiver A deep-forest silence pervaded the room He thought about waterfalls, fountains and rivers And soon enough, Eddie's bombardment resumed The outcome, of course, was a foregone conclusion: Valour and bravery wasted in vain She broke into pieces in the swirling profusion The push of a lever, and she spun down the drain CHORUS Old Eddie Praeger returned to his bender Never to think of the conflict again And long after closing time, Joe the bartender Placed a new cake where the old one had been CHORUS (2x)