Paul And Storm - Buffett Night (Tonight, I'm a Parrothead) lyrics

As the son of a son of a lawyer I never get home before nine The folks at work all think I'm a jerk I never see my kids and they don't seem to mind Yes, I'm stressed, and aggression's got the better of me My second ex-wife says I oughta get a life And the third and fourth agree But tonight Jimmy Buffet is comin' to town Pack up the Beemer: salt, lime, and tequiler And mingle with the soccer moms and 9-to-5 clowns Got no use for these suburbanite losers I'm above them in every way But tonight, I'm a Parrothead And they're okay I'm allergic to shellfish and mangos I don't enjoy the beach or the sun Hard for a man to get a tropical tan Wearing SPF one-hundred-and-one I guess Key West is impressive, but I've never been Can't even have Old Bay® or a Filet-O-Fish® Without needing a Dramamine® But tonight I'm in the crowd and I'm singin' along Year after year, you'll find me here Gettin' the words to "Margaritaville" wrong Most of the time I'd rather kiss a mime Than to hang out with your kind But tonight, I'm a Parrothead And I don't mind I know I ain't no sailor My khaki shorts are custom tailored And my Hawaiian shirt's from Calvin Klein® And I don't own his albums I only came here to get loaded And hit on your wife But tonight, the Coral Reefers are gonna be playin' I'll be the drunken a** throwing up on the gra** And shoutin' out my tenth request for "Fire and Rain" Most of the year I'm 'bout as full of cheer As a constipated bear But tonight, I'm a Parrothead I know you wish that I was dead But for tonight, I'm a Parrothead And I don't care