Paul And Storm - That's the News of the Week lyrics

Bob and Tom said, "Guys, write a song About the news ot the week" But I live in Philadelphia I live in Washington, DC So I record my part, then send it to you And I record mine when you're done We'll make do, we're best friends, me and you So let's check the news and have some fun Did you see that little Sascha Cohen didn't quite win the gold I guess I could just sing anything and you would never know Instead of bein' the queen of the rink I'm wearing my underwear as a hat And lettin' the boys swing free, my friends And that's the news of the week Did you hear, those meatpackers from Nebraska won the big Powerball? This is great; good thing I'm second I think I'll screw with Paul some more I bet the day after they won that dough Paul keeps his p**n in his sock drawer And wet his bed until age 23 And that's the news of the week Did you hear about that Arab nation trying to buy a bunch of U.S. ports? This verse s**s, and I refuse to sing it Now when the dockworkers unload the boats [silence] And that's the news of the week Did you hear—it's time to start spring training! Basball's almost here I think I'll go find naked pictures of Kristi on the Internet The last time I saw balls move that fast Speaking of catchers—how's it goin', Chick? And that's the news of the week Tom Griswold thinks cursive writing is stupid And that's the news of the week The other day I k**ed a hobo with a hammer And that's the news of the week