Serious man, your f**ing' missus is nuts My missus is nuts an' all She rings me at least forty times a day Serious I seen you last night, you were drinking' in the pub You were drinking' with that bird you tried to chat up in the nightclub Can't say her name but she's got a gammy eye And I feel an air of violence when I have to walk on by You can't deny it, it's something you can't miss That bird who's hanging' out with you is mad like cat piss Like bread and jam, or a knife going with bu*ter Face it son, your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Leave her alone! Your missus is a nutter! I've never seen a woman make a f**ing' skinhead cry And I never seen a woman try to snap an arm with her thigh Now I have and it's just across the pub And the worst thing is she's taking' you home for a rub You don't deserve it, you know it's a fact But mix her up with booze, you got a suicide pact 2 tequilas and 4 vodka mules She's a wrecking ball and her fists are the tools Binge drinking, binge drinking Tried keeping up with your missus, what was I thinking? She looks like Caprice But it's a shock to see her wrestling 2 police With one in a headlock! Fighting with bouncers and flashing her bits After 2 flaming' sambucas she don't care who she hits Waking up on Sunday morning, with bruises and cuts Face it son, your missus is nuts! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Leave her alone! Your missus is a nutter! Your missus was looking at my missus So my missus, sparked out your missus Your missus was looking at my missus So my missus, sparked out your missus It was last week, what really got me thinking About how your missus goes nuts when we go drinking Last week, she ended up on a binge She got off her tits and showed the bouncers her minge And it's the threat of grievous bodily harm She needs to keep calm, and use her charm I used to think it was funny, it made me laugh When she threw that ashtray at the bar staff Stabbed a man with a cone just to get a drink There's no logic, just have a drink, fight, drink, fight, drink! She grabs your throat and stares into your eyes Have you ever seen a woman k** a man with her thighs? Oh son, your missus is trouble Everytime you have a drink she has a double Is she on pukkas? I think she's tripping? Stop looking' at me love, this is water what I'm sipping' I seen her get on a mountain bike, and she drove it to chip land, and did 'em all in! Wicked! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Leave her alone! Your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Leave her alone! Your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Oh son, your missus is a nutter! Leave her alone! Your missus is a nutter! She's nuts man! she's off her head! Innit!