P-Kay - Its 50-50 lyrics

Just when you think it's all perfect, life hits you. Right in the face. You were so happy then you don't know what to do. It all feels like some race. If only everyone could leave me alone and give me my own f**ing space. I just want everyone to shoo. Just be with myself. To think. Where I am. What or who. I've had enough. Lost too much. I've silently heard and watched. And all I think at the moment is that nobody loves me. They all just wanna use me then throw me. Most of them have already done it. They've put me through hell. Put me through some f**ing sh**. I felt like I lost it all. No matter how hard you try to please them, try to help them, try to stay with them. You never get that back in the end from them. Everything and everyone. And ever since all I've ever wanted is just someone. Just a friend. Who would understand me and who would never leave me. Who would stay till the end. Who would get me and what I'm going through. A true friend. If only god would be nice enough to give me that, just to send me a friend. I never wanted to fit in the trend. Always wanted to be different. To stay out.I've been doing it good for the past few years, no doubt. But whenever I try to be me, my f**ing mom just starts to shout. Says it's all just a stupid little dream. That I'm living in space. At times that's what I feel due to the ganja and afeem. But other than that, I'm not. I get back on earth. People think they know me but they don't know who I am, for what it's worth, neither do I. And at times I feel so f**ing low that there's nothing better to do but sit and cry. Hoping for something to happen. Hoping people would just be honest and stop the f**ing lies. But over time, I realized. That all this was just something I had fantasized. It might be or it might not. It's 50 50. A big chance. Am I willing to take it? To go. To open up to people. To show. Hell yeah. Let's go. I don't care if it's right or not. You only live once. I'm willing to take a shot. Willing to put in every damn thing I got. I may win. I may loose. 50 50. Now I need to make decisions wisely. Think about what I've got to choose. What all I've got to loose. 50 50. Willing to try. All this time all I did was cry. Now it's my turn to f**ing move on. Stop being all shy. Get up and show them. Forget the haters. They don't know you. You don't know them. But then no matter how strong I try to be. In the end, ignorance from all is what I see. I'm not perfect. I'm not the best. But I am me. Isn't that good enough? Just open your eyes and see. I'm not that bad. I'm just somebody who's really really sad. I've been through so much. I've lost everyone I thought I had. Life for me has just been f**ing bad. And all this damn confusion and sh** is just driving me mad. I just wanna be alone. It's my life, let me live it my way. Nothing's gonna happen if you just sit and pray. And I'm never doing that sh**. I'll never give up, fall down or take a break and sit. I'll go somewhere far away. I'm not here to tolerate their sh**, you expect me to stay? No way. I'm leaving when I get my chance. No time to talk, to say hi, hello, hey. I gotta take my chance. 50 50. And I know I'm gonna do it. It's not what I hope. It's what I f**ing know. I'm gonna make it to the top. You'll see what all I've got to show. What all I've got. 50 50. Willing to take all the shots I've got