Owen Wilson - Heaven and Hell (Rushmore) lyrics

INSERT COVER OF PLAY: "HEAVEN AND HELL" A new play by Max Fischer Revised draft Dramatists Guild registered INT. GROVER CLEVELAND HIGH SCHOOL. NIGHT The school auditorium. We see many familiar faces in the audience: Mr. Fischer, Dr. Guggenheim in his wheelchair, Mrs. Guggenheim, Mrs. Calloway, Mrs. Whitney, the Indian groundskeeper, the Yearbook photographer, Coach Beck, Ernie, Mr. Holstead, Mr. Adams, the police who arrested Max, some old men from the Barbershop. They are all dressed nicely in evening clothes. Miss Cross' friend John, whom Max humiliated at dinner after The Serpico play, is seated in the third row. He is dressed In a coat and tie. An USHER directs Miss cross to her seat. She is surprised to see that it is right nest to Mr. Blume's. She reluctantly sits down beside him. Mr. Blume sees her. MISS CROSS Hi, Herman. Mr. Blume nods. He pulls his ticket out of his inside pocket and checks the seat number. He looks to Miss Cross. Miss Cross smiles. MISS CROSS Looks like Max pulled a fast one on us. Mr. Blume nods. MISS CROSS How's your aquarium coming along? MR. BLUME Not too bad. It should be finished in October. Miss Cross nods. MR. BLUME I just made a deal with a guy in Singapore for half a dozen Electric eels. MISS CROSS That sounds good. The lights go down. A spotlight appears and Max walks onstage in a tuxedo. He goes to a microphone in the middle of the stage. MAX I don't usually do this, but this play means a lot to me, And I wanted to make a dedication. So I'll just say that This play is dedicated to the memory of my mother, Eloise Fischer. And to Edward Appleby. A friend of a friend. Neither Mr. Fischer nor Miss Cross were expecting this announcement, and they are moved by it. MAX Also you'll find a pair of safety gla**es and some earplugs Underneath your seats. Please feel free to use them. Thank You very much. Max exits the stage and the audience applauds. There is a moment of rustling and whispering in the dark theater. The curtain opens on: Vietnam. Napalm smolders in the sky above the jungle. Dirk runs onstage dressed in a Green Beret uniform and sungla**es. He has an M-16. He yells to Max as Max shimmies down out of a palm tree: DIRK Let's rock, Esposito! MAX Lock and load, Surf Boy! There is an explosion and Max and Dirk run through the smoke. Suddenly the stage is swarmed by VC regulars. Everyone starts shooting at once. Bursts of gunfire light-up the audience's faces and smoke floats over their heads as we hear the sounds of jets flying over, bombs exploding, choppers taking off, and a SOLDIER'S voice screaming into his radio: SOLDIER Mayday! Mayday! Seven niner Almighty! Adjust your Coordinates! Some members of the audience put on their safety gla**es and earplugs. Woody stands nervously in the wings with a fire extinguisher. One of the extras accidentally clubs Max in the temple with the bu*t of his rifle. Max's eyes close. He crumples to the floor. The fighting stops. The audience begins to murmur. Max opens his eyes. He sees the frightened soldiers looking down at him. He grabs his M-16 and opens fire. The battle resumes. INSERT SIGN WRITTEN IN CALLIGRAPHY: Intermission. The sign is leaning on an easel in front of the curtain. Little roses and tulips are painted around its edges. INT. DRESSING ROOM. NIGHT Actors run around frantically backstage. Max has a band-aid on his forehead. He is touching-up a gory makeup effect over Dirk's eye. He turns to Woody. MAX How much time we got, Wood? WODDY (checks his watch) Two minutes. MAX Bring me some more ketchup. (points to the band-aid on his head) And make this look real. EXT. AUDITORIUM. NIGHT The lobby of the auditorium is buzzing with people talking about the play and having drinks. Mr. Blume is standing alone outside, smoking a cigarette. It is snowing softly. Miss Cross comes out with a cup of coffee in each hand. Mr. Blume turns around and looks at her. She goes over to him and hands him one of the coffees. MR. BLUME (sadly) Thank you. MISS CROSS Hold this one, too, Herman. He holds both coffees while Miss Cross pours some little containers of cream into then and stirs them with a plastic straw. She takes back her cup of coffee. MISS CROSS So what do you think of Max's latest opus? Mr. Blume gives a thumbs up and stares out into the snow. MR. BLUME Let's just hope it's got a happy ending. Miss Cross smiles. She smoothes her hand across Mr. Blume's hair. He looks into her eyes. She links arms wit him gently and they drink their coffees together. INT. AUDITORIUM. NIGHT Max and Magnus Buchan, with a three-day beard and a cigar, stand together among the fallen bodies and smoldering trees. MAX I want you to have something, Sarge. Max hands Magnus Mr. Blume's silver .45 automatic. MAX I won't be needing this anymore. MAGNUS Semper fi, Esposito. Semper fi. MAX Sic transit gloria, sir. Max looks out to Mr. Blume. Mr. Blume looks back at him. MAX Say a prayer for Surf Boy. Wherever he is. MAGNUS Good luck, soldier. Magnus salutes Max and walks off. We hear his voice as he goes into the wings: MAGNUS Tag 'em and bag 'em, cherries! We're moving out! Let's DD! Max throws down his rifle into a foxhole and begins to cry quietly. Someone moves slowly toward him out of the settling smoke. Max wheels around and whips out his Swiss Army knife. But then he sees it is Margaret Yang as a Vietnamese villager. She has been through hell. MARGARET Hello, Esposito. Max drops his knife and it stabs into the floor. He puts out his hand. Margaret takes it. He pulls her in and hugs her. Miss Cross smiles sadly. Max looks into Margaret Yang's eyes. MAX Will you marry me, Le-Chahn? MARGARET (instantly) You bet I will. Wagner's Flight of the Walkyries begins to play loudly from behind the stage as Max kisses Margaret and the curtain drops to wild applause. Mrs. Guggenheim looks on in amazement as Dr. Guggenheim stands up out of his wheelchair and leads the ovation. The rest of the audience quickly follows suit. The Indian groundskeeper is laughing hysterically. INT. GYMNASIUM. NIGHT The gymnasium has been filled with palm trees and decorated like an Army barracks. Flares burn in circles around the tables. A banner at the entrance says The Heaven and Hell Cotillion. Dirk and a couple of his CLASSMATES are looking at some Vintage Playboy centerfolds taped-up on the wall as part of the Army barracks motif. Miss Cross and John are talking at the punchbowl. MISS CROSS Max sent you an invitation? JOHN Yeah. And he told me to wear a tie. Max and Margaret are drinking ginger ales and chatting with Mr. Fischer and MR. and MRS. YANG. MAX Thank you, Mrs. Yang. I actually wrote a different version Of the play two years ago. But I couldn't get it done over At Rushmore. MRS. YANG Why? Too political? MAX No. A kid got his finger blown off during rehearsals. Max sees Mr. Blume and Miss Cross approaching. MAX Miss Cross, this is my father Bert Fischer. He's a barber. (to Mr. Fischer) This is my friend Rosemary Cross. Mr. Fischer smiles as they shake hands. MR. FISCHER Hi, Rosemary. MISS CROSS Nice to finally meet you, Bert. MAX And, of course, you know Mr. Blume. I also want everyone to Meet Mr. and Mrs. Yang. And this is Margaret. Miss Cross and Margaret smile at each other. MISS CROSS Hello, Margaret. MARGARET Hello, Miss Cross. The Indian groundskeeper is talking with Coach Beck and Mr. Blume's foreman, Ernie. COACH BECK I'm surprised they let him build a real campfire onstage. That's a safety hazard. ERNIE Well, last year he tried to raise piranhas. COACH BECK What'd you think of the play, Mr. Littlejeans? GROUNDSKEEPER Best play all year, man. Mr. Blume, Magnus Buchan, and the Rushmore yearbook photographer are having a conversation. MAGNUS Well, Fischer stepped on half of my bleedin' lines. MR. BLUME Really? I didn't notice. PHOTOGRAPHER Are Ronny and Donny having a good time at military school? MR. BLUME (instantly) They love it. MAGNUS Lucky ba*tards. Mr. Fischer is talking with John. JOHN I understand you're a neurosurgeon. MR. FISCHER No. I'm a barber. But a lot of people make that mistake. Mr. Fischer laughs. Dirk and Dr. Guggenheim watch Max laughing and dancing with Margaret Yang. Max points to Dr. Guggenheim. Dr. Guggenheim smiles and points back to him. He says in a hoarse whisper: DR. GUGGENHEIM Who's the Chinaman with Fisher? DIRK That's Margaret Yang. She's actually Korean. DR. GUGGENHEIM (pleasantly surprised) I know the Koreans. They're good People. Max and Margaret are talking as they dance: MAX You were incredible tonight, Margaret. You were that poor Girl. MARGARET Thank you. I loved it when you grabbed onto the bottom of The chopper as it was taking off. MAX That was totally improvised. Margaret nods. They look at each other smiling. MAX Can I ask you a question? MARGARET Of course. MAX Can you do an Australian accent? Margaret looks puzzled. Max smiles. MAX I'm working on something that's set in the outback. Mr. Fischer is sitting at a table having a gla** of Champagne with Max's math teacher, Mrs. Whitney. She has a slight English accent. Mr. Fischer wears a sky blue blazer. MR. FISCHER That's a beautiful dress, by the way. MRS. WHITNEY Why, thank you, Bert. That sportscoat is rather smashing in Its own right. MR. FISCHER I know it's a little loud. But I feel like celebrating. MRS. WHITNEY Would you care to dance? MR. FISCHER (surprised) I'd love to. Mr. Blume brings Miss Cross a gla** of champagne as Max and Margaret dance by. MARGARET Hello, Mr. Blume! MR. BLUME Hi, Margaret! (to Max) May I cut in? I haven't had a change to cut a rug With your new girlfriend yet. MAX (embarra**ed) New girlfriend. MARGARET Yes, I am. And find your own partner, Mr. Blume. No offense, But I'm spoken for. MAX No, it's OK. He's my friend. Margaret and Mr. Blume dance off together. Max and Miss Cross are left alone. MISS CROSS Well, you pulled it off. MAX (shrugs) It went OK. At least nobody got hurt. MISS CROSS Except for you. MAX (smiles sadly) Nah. I didn't get hurt that bad. Max looks to Miss Cross. Miss Cross sips her champagne. She looks back at Max for a minute. She smiles. Mr. Fischer calls out to them as he dances by with Mrs. Whitney: MR. FISHCER Come on, you two! Shake a leg! They wave to Mr. Fischer. Miss Cross looks to Max. MISS CROSS You want to dance? MAX Certainly. But let's see if we can get the DJ to play Something with a lithe --- Max snaps his fingers. He turns to the DJ and yells: MAX Rueben! The DJ looks to Max. Max makes a little gesture that seems to say, This is the one. The DJ nods. The music cuts off in the middle of the song. Everyone stops dancing. They look around wondering what's going on. A new song starts up. It is the saddest song of the night. Max looks to Miss Cross. Miss Cross puts out her hand. Max takes it and walks with her onto the dance floor, into the crowd, as everyone slowly begins to dance.