[Round 1: Oshea] Oshea beat Kid Twist Kid Twist AKA Shuffle-T's big sis' f** being opponents, how I have missed this So T is Rowan, kiss kiss But Don't Flop been going for 7 years strong Strength for strength I'm so thanks I've caught flanks I've made some special friends But my style got stale quick, I needed a fresher pen So I bought this, $9.50 $9.50! That's 10 to 10 The day I start rapping like that Is the day Liz Winter starts having s** with men f** that bull tits I'm in a different zone You've been rocking skinny jeans since skinny jeans were called women's clothes He don't like it [?], he misses home Canada, where the most vicious gang is Charron Now, trying to school this one like I'm teaching immigrants Besides you look like Big T if Big T looked COMPLETELY different I'ma beat this simpleton, his defeat is imminent sh**'ll be like a scene from Wimbledon if you're turning Serena Williams Yeah, I've got multis, I can multi task I'll pop your mother's gas light, bubble wrap That tall skinny blond Canadian s*ut, loving that And if she tells you different she's a lying HOE! Thundercat When Oshea bout, ancient Egypt Keep your mommy/mummy under wraps And by the way, [?] what the f**'s a jumping jack? Who the f**, is f**ing Jack? Well listen, forget that f**ing Jap' This next line is without doubt, in battle rap terms The most vicious, sickest angle Forget Jefferson Price having his life dismantled This is a bigger scandal This sh**'s straight flicker and flame, Christmas candle I hope Kid Twist...twist his ankle Strain that sh** ya prick These URL cats are like are like "he's gone too far" But stop your bickering, it's proper sickening Don't make me Jonny Wilkinson this, just f**ing rob him [?] aaah I f**ed that up Kid Twist ya skinny [?] You have not got an idea You the type of guy to leave his car parked in the car park with Spanish IKEA Listen, you may be taller than me, but you haven't got a big plan What you have got, is a pterodactyl's wing span Listen, no one in this building can fathom the stupidity of this man He said to me, "Is chicken a terrorist?" I said "No" "Is lamb/Islam?" It's a joke, it's a joke Clever wordplay, 7th birthday Gun from me he'll reach for the stars like I just reference heresy Listen, I break both your arms, leave ya helpless, send for the care I'll inbox Organik and tell him you've been overly friendly with Eurgh I wanna slap the sh*t outta every one of you f*gs from Canada Bound to get slapped out of the whip, quicker than [?] camera But I'm running out of breath and ain't a lack of stamina It's cause the ba** is all out [Round 1: Kid Twist] You paid $9.50 for that pen? Man, you better take it and go and write It's a perfect metaphor cause whatever you got paid by Rowan Faife your pen's insanely overpriced Everything I know about your country comes from Guy Ritchie action flicks And based on Oshea I'd say they were pretty accurate Yo, but from what I've seen in the London streets British people have lovely teeth And you gave me the guy with an overbite and gum disease C'mon, you're just trying to f** with me This is my first overseas battle I feel like I gotta win But I'm in Britain now, I gotta figure out how to talk to them Bulletz did those football bars and the whole crowd rocked with him So yo, the thing about Arsonal is they always try to walk it in It's Oshea You chose a rap name that rhymes with "so gay" But his s** life is like a bull fight if you seen the chicks O lay/ole Kaiser Soze Coldplay Cobain O.J Those were choose your own punchlines, you can fill them in your own way I thought I'd do some research, you know, watch all the old battles Osh' had So I hit Youtube...92 battles...f** it, close tab In that many rounds anyone can drop a little heat So you got some dope sh** but that's just a laws of probability Yo, you used to be the best at what you do There's a new player in the game though You're a white American racist Word is your job been taken by a Pedro But if you can't beat 'em, join 'em So now they both are facing some Oakland natives Eurgh's the worst kind of boss You know you're training your own replacement But shouts to Eurgh man I gotta give you big ups and homage Props again on your World Dom' 5 sh** bruv, you rocked it I know you guys hated that Eurgh impression and thought Diz' was obnoxious But you should've seen his Oshea impression later when he pa**ed out in his own piss, blood and vomit I'd joke about your teeth swallowing your chin But that's a hopeless struggle Cause when you swallow one chin the next one below it doubles You say you choke your wife like at home there's trouble But you're the nicest man who spits So why is your persona like your body type? A giant bag of sh** This match is light compared to Shuffle I'm more lucid and sk**ed than you The hardest part is that I have to look at YOU when I'm k**ing you And your looks plainly disgust me Cause you know you're disgracefully ugly when they would rather make Shotty Horroh the face of the country [Round 2: Oshea] Listen No lies, I'll admit When I got offered Kid Twist I was pretty surprised Cause I'm not what I used to be So I was expecting Cojay or Heretik of one of those guys I don't mean no disrespect to none of those guys [?] dropping in more ways than one like Malaysian Airlines But f** you, you and you and anybody else in the f**ing building that thinks that you winning You [?] with Shuffle T look like loose women You can't even hi-5 this guy cause you'll end up bruising him Cause he's so b**h made that you dueling him But f** the jokes I've got that KOTD wordplay that'll leave your block shambled like Jenga Kid Twist is a bender That's it Listen, f** you think I'm gonna hit you with a Pikachu scheme? I keep it black and white like a Beetlejuice scene I couldn't wait to get to Toronto, I would finally be eating poutine But imagine my dismay as I took my table to sit Ordered Canada's favorite dish Five minute later, I found out the shadiest sh** Waitress comes out to me and Deffinition with a plate of gravy and chips FRAUDS! You're such a tall skinny blond b**h I'm considering trying to have s** with you And f** the Toronto Blue Jays we've got Big Jay dressed in blue Yeah, I'm a professional, every bar I drop, humdinger, old school [?] these b**hes shouldn't rap, mudslinger You'll get that double L on cam', that's George Ringer And ice hockey is f**ing sh** Don't think for one second I'm hating But if you're good at ice hockey you have to be good at ice skating Yeah, I said that line to Rich five years ago, World Domination 2 And since then, the world's population grew Hockey dominates the news and ice hockey is still f**ing sh** No wonder, you Canadians are the world's gayest bredrens Cause you're like, "We'll fight...right after skating lessons" How the f** do these players argue? They're like, "Listen! Don't go there!" "I don't care!" "Keep on talking like that and you're gonna make me gliiiiide on over there!" Listen, Dancing On Ice is your country's national sport Listen, yes h*mo, no pauses...I'd rather watch f*ggot p**n Listen, I'ma k** a Canadian inside the ministry Whether it's you, Charron, Bulletz, I will fire willingly The difference between me and you, is you're a liability [?] talk yourself out of any situation, I am lie ability Listen, I'd rather die of dysentery or iron deficiency Then be a Canadian click click boom turn his dome to a stadium Aye, even the frogs want me, their country like "tray bien" Tell Bulletz after gun talk, Canada is Arcadium But I'ma end my verse on this Respect Cause even though this man's a bit skitz I be damned if he be a snitch He'll go to jail for his dawgs, he's Calcium Kid Twist [Round 2: Kid Twist] Yo, this man said to be good at hockey you have to be good at ice skating Well to be good at SOCCER, you have to be good at dive taking Yeah, cause we're in London Where they say sh** like, "bruv", "slew" "blood" You called me "bender" but where I'm from, a Bender would f** you up! [Oshea] Ooooh. I'd fancy that [Kid Twist] You act like you barely put effort in But really you write your rounds with intricate plans Hunched over your laptop concentrating Fossi brings the meal she fix for her man You yell at her to "f** off" She runs off drying and drops the dish from her hands Then you come apologizing like, "I'm so sorry it's just... You know I've been stressed...trying to write this verse...about fisting his nan" Yo, does anyone out here watch American Horror Story? Okay, okay just trust me You look exactly like Pepper from American Horror Story And the sh** you bring now will compare to your former glory Cause all you do is f**ing weird angles like a terrible p**no orgy Still you fight for your style's relevance, you're a true crusader You're like a reclusive waiter, the way you refuse to cater But yo, you don't have to cater to evolve These days you wouldn't even wash Callum And we only check for your sh** cause of nostalgia like Nas albums So f** this pugnacious, pug faced, putty chin, liver [?] If you were a Power Ranger you would let the f**ing Puttys win And your dick jokes are trash So I don't think the name of your weak group is fair Cause if you go to the Dick Limerick Academy then you're a D student there And most of your hook ups, money changes hands when s** ends So when I talk about your Horatio/who*e ratio it's not Hamlet's best friend Shakespeare bars! If you catch what he's got antibiotics won't heal ya Girls trust me, you'd rather drown yourself than let O feel ya/Ophelia It is damn near cheating the way you pronounce your rounds Cause in your accent every vowel sounds like every other vowel sound You made "punch" rhyme with "foot" You made "Eurgh" rhyme with "there" You made "spirit" rhyme with "Guinness" This sh** is not fair! Yo, is Oshea a pedophile? [Oshea] Yes [Kid Twist] So he's confirming he's a pedophile It's no longer a little touch and go So you calling people "kidder" makes us all understandably uncomfortable At every battle Oshea's in he turns into drinking game For every line I say he takes a drink Every line he says he drinks again You brought booze to make your own intervention liver I just hope your friend's the driver cause if you blew a breathalyzer it would f**ing catch on fire Plus you're fat, you're on coke, you go on crazy rants and swear at nothing sh**, if you came to my city you might get elected mayor or something [Round 3: Oshea] Listen you f**ing c*nt Don't make me kick you in the f**ing foot Listen, I swear don't make me get [?] [?] [Kid Twist] Spirit and Guinness [Oshea] Listen, I got nothing but respect for anyone Who's made Don't Flop whether it's the guys from Air, Cruger, Liam, all the way through to Sonny Bamboo But can I give people some advice? If you're not Air, Cruger or Liam don't get no f**ing Don't Flop f**ing tattoo Listen, it don't matter how much you've watched Don't Flop in the last two months Everybody in this room thinks you're a bunch of absolute c*nts Listen, it's nothing personal to the people who've done that I just keep it the rawest A tattoo's for life, not just the immediate aftermath of a semi-decent performance Listen, how come you'se twats with tat's are never a Tony D? Unanymous or a Matter or Shotty? It's always a J Short [?] man who wins in the bookies And comes out the next day with "Beth 365" tatted on his body The bigger anything gets, it's a problem There's a bandwagon but I'm too dangerous on road I'm like a band riding! Listen, catch me grand shagging with me pants sagging While you Canadian maggots say "swag jacking" those Yank f*ggots This is England! England! Where 90% of police call outs are proper born Where I won't say sh** to your face, but I'll diss you the f** out on the forum You should f** KOTD off, come battle for us You have a choice! Don't Flop! Where fat [?] like Emily Tilley have a voice! Yes, his real name is Alex Larsen And for THAT I have a brilliant rhyme You sound like someone Aston Villa would sign Yes, I may have battled about a million times But it's like I'm riding Transformers the way I'm still in my Prime I'm a gun totting, gun smoking, gang banging gangsta You're Kid Twist...ehh Listen, ever since my son was born all I've done is teach him misdemeanors I find it hard to believe that even though I'm old and I have different features You still somehow look like each of the In Betweeners Flip this [Round 3: Kid Twist] Flip this? If I spelled that backwards it says "sick" See, a Don't Flop tattoo? I thought that was something you would cherish I was gonna moon you half way through this round But now because of the tat' I'm too embarra**ed You rap about having s** with people's grandparents Let me make sure I'm understanding this clear Cause I know there's plenty rappers with dead grandma's in here So you're saying you want to dig up and f** a corpse that's been rancid for years That explains you still trying to have a battle career Liam used you as a target to practice some free jabs I guess you are what you smoke, he made you a speed bag Biggest match and you wrote some trash that you jumbled up and rushed through The O in "Oshea" stands for "Lunar f**ing snuffed you" [Oshea] He did [Kid Twist] You lost acceptance here quick You need a fresh career switch DF is tired of f**ing with you, they got the 7 Year Itch So you rap on any platform cause you know your name is tarnished You're at so many little league events you should face molestation charges And when it comes to rappers named Oshea Ice Cube is the number one without doubt You saw Oshea Jr in the movie, even he'd give you a run for the belt Cause you lose battles off the bullsh** that comes from your mouth It's Straight Out of Compton, Oshea is sonning himself That grill could make the Tooth Fairy collapse into poverty If you bought gold fronts you'd f**ing crash the economy And you can't pull a robbery Anyone who sees this man will know Cause when you wear a stocking cap it still shows off your enamel toe I've got a question What happened to you Britain? This might get awkward and quiet I mean you used to own half the globe, you were conquering tyrants But based on last years results of what Scotland decided These days you can barely hold onto an island And let's talk about your title holders Cause your loss to Ton' was something you should've known was coming Soul proved it They wanna give the thrown to someone known for punching Plus awarding a rap title to a skinhead was dense Funny how you ran the league but couldn't rally for an English defense Look, once in a while, your sh** is vaguely bearable But you're back here every week with the same material And you'll probably keep going until the day they bury you In a grave that says, "Steven Oshea...yeah terrible"