Original London Cast of Mrs. Henderson - Mrs Henderson Presents lyrics

Opening a theater With 500 seats to fill Is an 18 karat worry It could make a person ill Our Gracie's down at Empire The Palladium's got Max Miller But putting bums in seats in this place Could be a blinking k**er Mrs. Henderson Presents I can see that on a bill There will be premiers Where everyone is dressed to k** London's elite will pay a fortune to be there There will be queues from Windmill Street All the way to SoHo Square It's an 18 karat thrill When Mrs. Henderson Presents [?] Mrs. Henderson presents doesn't mean we'll have a hit Without [?] on the stage Or Geraldo in the pit If we've no headline act we just won't bring them in You're wrong I'm right I must insist Mr. VanDamm I'm already feeling ill If Mrs. Henderson presents [?] It won't be easy I'll have to graft It'll take all my expertise and craft The competition is immense Now let's find out exactly what it is That Mrs. Henderson presents Oh marvelous he's a catch yes Sk**ed certainly There was a chap in India That juggled scimitars with one hand Well he had no choice really Thank you next Oh I do love magic tricks How they do it heaven knows The magic must be good or Hey presto we will close It's not the kind of talent Seinfeld would employ This trick I hate I think he's great Now you're starting to annoy In a depression the house is tough They won't want this when they're depressed enough You've got to use your common sense As a matter of fact that's the kind of act that Mrs. Henderson presents Next One lie one love sent from above Sweet as apple pie (oh marvelous) Her face her smile Makes life worthwhile She's just right for me How lucky can you be One life one love sent from above Our lives are heavenly Absolutely splendid He went flat But look at him Who'd be listening You are banned from these auditions Then I shall cancel the opening Then I shall resign Bravo Mr. VanDamm Always good to clear the air Know exactly where we stand You're quite a character Let me shake you by the hand Together we will make the most delightful pair I will try to keep my nerve I will try to keep my hair when When Mrs. Henderson presents The [?] I [?] worked everyday Front of house The guards the wings Box office and the take Now these are the important things So business is a business We must make it pay And if we don't Please don't say I'm [?] with Oy Vei Next Mrs. Henderson presents You can see her name in lights We will be the hottest ticket Way beyond compare There will be queues from Windmill Street All the way to SoHo Square When Mrs. Henderson presents [?] God I hate this tension I'm far too old for shocks And if we're not a triumph I'm back to selling socks There's no need to be nervous Our future's looking bright But critics can be brutal I've known shows to last one night An opus night tradition Might cheer you up a bit The girls said I should wish you The very best of sh** I beg your pardon Please don't make me say it twice It was hard enough the first time You've quite misunderstood them Or your hearing is impaired In fact we don't translate it What we tend to say is [?] Oh good heavens Good luck everybody Break your necks Diamonds only dazzle [?] But owning a theater That's my idea of fun They all dance They sing Show business is their thing They entertain you They've got taps on their shoes You'll lose those blues That's what life's about Some things you can't live without We know what's what We hit the spot So have yourselves a great night out Mrs. Henderson Presents Mrs. Henderson Presents A show by Vivian VanDamm We're gonna raise the roof Cause London's biggest traffic jam We'll be the hottest ticket Way beyond compare There will be queues from Windmill Street All the way to Soho Square where Mrs. Henderson Pre Mrs. Henderson Pre Mrs. Henderson Presents I can clear your mind Others not far behind Everyone enjoys the Windmill Whistle and cheer up Happiness from here on No one sees [?] Come in from the cold If you're young or if you're old You will all be there at the Windmill We can laugh about this weather When we're together all our woes are gone Music comedy and laughter [?] You want an autograph (please) I'll see you after Anything to chase away the blues (away the blues) Dance routine to [?] Keep an eye out for tomorrow's stars Girls with skin like a pup Everything is here to cheer you up (cheer you up) [?] Relaxation really pays All of us here at the Windmill [?] Happiness if yours if you need to stay indoors There's no waiting at the Windmill Go on now and tell your best friend [?]