Original Cast - Archer lyrics

That turtle looks like my grandnanny! For nanny's birthday one year, we had the croquer make her a cake with a frothy mug of beer and a pack of Virginia slim cigarettes made out of icing with the words, "Live it up, Nanny!" I wonder if turtles would eat chocolate turtles. Wouldn't it be awesome if inside that shell he had a mini fridge filled with shrimp co*ktail? Or maybe, a puffy couch? A lava lamp? Or a comfy bed with thousand count sheets. Just like the bedding at the W hotel, where I stay all the time with Archer, I don't really know what the W stands for, but I think it's maybe women or Westin. I don't know. Things are really crazy since the wedding day cause Archer's upstate building the cabin. He's usually, out on the yacht, or writing books, when he's not fighting dragons in space. We just bought an apartment, by Buckingham Palace last year. I love the Eiffel Tower and the views are so beautiful when it rains that I take pictures of the lightning and send them to the weather channel. Arthur really wants three bedrooms in the cabin- did I just say Arthur what I meant was Archer, yes Archer, No matter how much I try to tell him no, I let Archer get his way every time. I like popcorn. A home gym for his workout is non negotiable, cause Archer's a pro baseball player. So three bedrooms it is.