I can't sleep without d** I toss and turn too much Bad dreams and such disrupt my peace So tired that I can't function Hallucinations chanting something Every line is louder every hour I think they have a message Reciting some pa**age Lighting the back of my eyelids With a match The muscles in neck get so tense That they crush my head and break the silence With my own screams of agony It happens more frequently, recently After years of remission Why the sudden resurrection? My cross to bear comes from nowhere With no warning And it'll chase me til they're over my casket mourning It wants to see how much I can take before I break And take my life to end the sleepless nights But I'm not the forfeiting type Can't fight the enemy inside me but I can bleed the motherf**er out And pa** out Carrying my cross inside me It drives me Heavy on my mind Cure it all with rhymes I'll be As quickly as it hits me it leaves me Euphoria beyond description Like a h**n prescription I survived it again, but not without damages Whatever it is, it'll revive and get me again The question is when How quickly can I mend and recover Til I smother myself under the covers Keep the blood flow low to my head Explode and see red I'm going to bed Like a fish outta water So helpless kinda sorta like a Medical disorder Middle of school in the fourth quarter they took me out on a stretcher Popping my chest with electric shocks To keep my heart from stop beating Two hours later I'm alive and eating Still breathing Til the new pills kick in Knock me down so bad I'd rather have it out with d**h and win At least then I'd be awake enough to see what's up When the doctor starts to pump me full of junk with IV injections Til I'm comatose the overdose made me a ghost I see my end Carrying my cross inside me It drives me Heavy on my mind Cure it all with rhymes I'll be It could be brought on by anything Some treatments may work some of the time Most will mask the symptoms by numbing all the senses There is no known cure We can only try things until we find something that works If it gets worse, you may need daily treatments for the rest of your life You're out of options We see this all the time and there's really nothing we can do It may be caused by a combination of things We just don't know for sure