Nugatory Hope - Descent lyrics

I can't take much more With all to hide, I don this guise, and Smile and I mask it all That smile hides a wretched man plotting self-demise I scream at the sky as the floodgates burst I went from ignored to the scum of the Earth My head is in another place Hoping for some lucky ace To lift away the hurt You f**ing hate me, don't you? Well I hate me more, 'cuz When I fumble at each open door A slew of trapdoors just conjure up, with the enticing lure of a Better life God, and I keep f**ing falling for it! Snap me out of this! I feel a paradigm shift And the voices amplify When the shift creates a quake I used to a**imilate and now I'm Ostracized and laughed at I looked beyond this pit; Saw my ambition wither, die, and rot I'm burning every bridge that I've ever built With a blade in my fever dream fantasy, I give I'm a cyst, and I'm only here just to prove my worth Even though I'm not worth a thing, I just want to feel SAFE Am I losing my mind? 'Cuz every turn, there's more Fuel for these thoughts To fester and take on life I can't take this anymore! WHY?!