Nugatory Hope - Before I Leave lyrics

I want to grow, but I can only fester In this decaying hearth The truth's leaking out through a hole in my conscience Intermingling with my lies Nobody wants me, or cares that I'm here They all just want me gone I am un-needed, as worthless as dirt Contrary to the alias I stand by So before I leave, just remember this one thing And when I leave, it's the only thing I need Just forget my name Constant downfall Somehow, penance is out of reach; they're Duly implacable, 'cuz I'm the way I am My iniquity's always the catalyst for ruination Isolation's an instinct now, like Stringent chains that forbid escape Misanthropic, and dirt-ridden They loathe me, so I plan escape in spite of all the disbelief My life as an Antichrist has Demonstrated the meaning of Desolation for me and all involved So before I leave, just take me as a Lesson in the irony of your Dreams, and what the world wants you to be The ideal me is dead Tortured and k**ed just for sport And left out to rot in the sum Of every dark thought in my head I wish just to hang on and live (NO) And let my ego meet it's demise (KEEP IT ALIVE) My demons will soon lose their voice (WE KILLED YOU LONG AGO) With departure, I'll rise (YOU'LL END UP IN THE SAME PLACE YOU BEGAN)