NSD - Midnight Thoughts lyrics

[Verse 1] To say I'm depressed is only scratching the surface Always feel the need to be the one that goes furthest I'mma wind up burning in the Devil's furnace Gun to my head, wonder what I did to deserve this I don't deserve to feel this way Feel this pain. I'm not okay Barely making music cause I sleep all day Don't even have the motivation to go and get paid [Hook] Midnight thoughts. Laying alone in the dark Stuck in my head, go for a walk in the park Suicidal thinking, can't stop when I start Gun co*ked to the brain and the bullet departs [Verse 2] I've been drinking the syrup, but it ain't for the cough Popping pills is the only way to keep from going off Musics all I got, yeah, I gotta reach the top Gotta make it rapping cause my life is the cost f**ed up, can't focus. Mind in a haze Only look forward to when my consciousness fades Stuck in my mind. Stuck in a maze Running in circles till my life is erased Man why even bother? My life's already over I don't see myself living I don't see me getting older I should go ahead and end it. At least I'll have closure Maybe try to drive before the hangover I've wanted to die since I was nine years old Tried to run away once, slept out in the cold But I had to get away. Packed my sh** and hit the road Tired of getting punched and grabbed by the throat [Hook] [Verse 3] Because of my step-dad I'm an alcoholic Tried to drink away my childhood. sh** was catastrophic But I can't forget the pain. Can't forget the conflict f** that n***a he was real diabolic Moms couldn't do sh** she was scared too He'd hurt us both, he's a real bad dude Had to pretend life's good, but we know that's untrue Hurt my little brother beat his a** black and blue But that's just where it started, life only got worse Probably won't make it past twenty, I'm in the back of a hearse Life so sh**ty man you'd swear I was cursed Embrace d**h with open arms plunge into my grave headfirst Didn't know how to say it so I put it in a song Told to keep my head up but I'm just not that strong Told it's just a phase, it'll get better but you're wrong Drowning all my sorrows at the bottom of a bong [Hook]x2