Nova Rockafeller - Dear Nova lyrics

And when I started had a heart full of fire Stomach fulla hunger. scars from the liars I got mad weed but i can never find my lighter They tried to break me down but i was strong like a tiger Smoke my bowls, I'm feeling broken it's beautiful See so much sh** with no pharmaceuticals Drunk and the sidewalk, city under my feet Walk 100 blocks tryna figure out why i'm me And i been hurt, but thats mine like a secret Somewhere in a shadow where you you can't see it Only i will know the sh** i been through And i'll probably never tell you truth I will keep the f**ing pain to myself - - I'll pretend I'm not a mess, and just cells Ill keep the f**ing rapes to myself, and the hate For myself to myself, like everybody else Streets so dark and the park looks bright Jumping off swings, tryna reach new heights Hitting bowls in the slides, counting stars in the skies My reflection in the window, i get lost in my eyes I look into the moments as they all coincide Block time, and i'm with myself on all those sh**ty nights Sitting on a suitcase, under city lights Had to run away because it wasn't really right Took so many planes, and i met so many faces Fell in love so often, broke in all the same places I could hear a voice, it sounded like a boy Drink cuz he get louder when I'm wasted And i laugh when my exes get stabbed, cuz i'mma bad person f** me And he hits me up and i don't give a damn, cuz i'm not that person Who leaves No - I will stay and drown, i wanna be trapped under as it crumbles to the ground Crooked is my crown, yelling f** it i'm down. and throwing everything in reach You left yo sh** and i covered it in bleach I can tear apart the world that we created in a week And i can't f**ing help but tell everyone i meet When i crawl up on stage, throw my heart down at your feet Feet I'm throwing everything in reach I'm throwing everything in reach Remember me. that bitty with mean right swinger The one you wanna dine out but don't like dinner Who go catch you with a side ho and throw an appliance If you didn't want war why'd you break the alliance Breech - throwing everything in reach Man i covered hella sh** in gasoline or bleech I will set fire to the sheets I will f**ing cut you until you're meat Dear Nova If I could tell you sh** You'll forgive yourself for everything you did Every heart you broke, and every time you shattered And how you'd do it all again, like a pattern One day you'll go to meetings. the pain will turn laughter They'll write you big checks, and you'll think it doesn't matter You just want to rap, and you know you'll go to hell and back To tell the world they're dying and nobody wants to tell em that But that's one day, that's one too many days away I know you wanna die you'll barely make it through today And every single guy you fall in love with walks away Cuz they don't have the same pain in them that makes you grey Dear Nova, I'm from another plane I know sometimes you hear me in the brain When you dumb high, think you went insane I'm the person that you come to with your pain