Nofx - Bearly Legal lyrics

Why are you being nice to me? That's not like you at all Because I've really missed your friendship And your high cholesterol I've always wanted to be with you But I'm boring and obese You've got a purple mohawk And I wear a hair piece So what if I'm more fun than you And don't forget I'm f**in' cute Do you think that you can deal with my ill repute? Your reputation doesn't bother me It tickles and offends That's why I wanna introduce you to my parents and my friends You would you do that with me I would do that with you There's so many things I'll introduce you to I think I wanna be with someone just like you I can start exercising every day Get muscular and lean That's silly I'll just take diet pills And methamphetamine I don't want you to change for me Your rolls and body hair I'm starting to let me see you Like a human teddy bear Maybe I could learn to like drug use and punk rock Maybe I could learn to like your small uncircumcised co*k If my size is a problem I'm sure it won't persist I'll just have to satisfy you With some ky and my fist You would you do that with me I will do that with you I wanna be with someone just like you I wanna be with someone just like you