[Verse 1] The mongrel cat came home Holding half a head Proceeded to show it off To all his newfound friends He said I been where I liked I slept with who I like She ate me up for breakfast She screwed me in a vice [Refrain] But now I don't know why I feel so tongue-tied [Verse 2] I sat in the cupboard And wrote it down neat They were cheering and waving Cheering and waving Twitching and salivating like with myxomatosis But it got edited, f**ed up Strangled, beaten up Used in a photo in Time magazine Buried in a burning black hole in Devon [Refrain] And I don't know why I feel so tongue-tied Don't know why I feel so skinned alive [Verse 3] My thoughts are misguided and a little naïve I twitch and I salivate like with myxomatosis You should put me in a home or you should put me down I got myxomatosis, I got myxomatosis Yeah, no one likes a smart-a** but we all like stars Wait, that wasn't my intention, I did it for a reason It must have got mixed up Strangled, beaten up I got myxomatosis, I got myxomatosis [Refrain] I don't know why I feel so tongue-tied