[Verse 1: Puff Puff] I don't know if you're aware, but your kids s** a** You need someone to whip 'em then, ha, just ask Cuz', they ain't as perfect as you say is They ain't perfect at all You raisin' Bebe's kids! I'm sorry, I don't know you, I don't mean to get pissy But you need to discipline your bratty kids, you hippy! Like, "Come here, you little jerk, taste the back of my palm" "But you ain't my daddy!" "Nah, but I'm DOIN' YA MOM" You THINK that they're angels, but they're driving me insane I'll punch a baby in the face just for crying on a plane Cause I don't mess around You need to control them or I'll lose it "But I made you a drawing" Shut the f** up kid, that's stupid Now I'mma get my truck and unload all my boys in back I'mma find out where you live and break all your toys in half And I know it ain't your birthday, but when nobody's lookin' I'mma give you a little present "What?"—AN ASS-WHUPPIN'! [Hook: Your Favorite Martian] Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? [Verse 2: Puff Puff] I never thought I'd say a kid deserved to get hit But it's obvious, time-out ain't workin' for sh**! I've seen your parenting style, it ain't all that You gotta hit the little brat with a whiffle ball bat This is obviously more than a youthful rebellion You gotta belt the little Hellions with a belt when they yellin' You don't want me to do it, cause I'll paint their f**ing brains all over the wall When I spank 'em with a chainsaw Why they all wild and loose? If they deserve the a**-whuppin', it ain't child abuse When I'm trynna buy groceries And they're muckin' up my style They're like drunken little midgets Runnin' up and down the aisle Touchin' everything in sight, and Jesus for Christ's sake I think one of 'em just stuck his little penis in my cake! Now I have to go back and get a new one and it bugs me "Mommy says I'm beautiful" Shut the fu*k up kid, you're ugly [Hook] Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? [Bridge: Nice Peter] Please, let me whip your children Please, let me whip yo' kids I can't stand kids misbehavin' Runnin' around and disobeyin' All they need is a kick in the pants A punt in the bu*t, a lesson that'll finally shut 'em up Please, let me whip your children Please, let me whip yo' kids [Hook] Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? Please may I whip your kids? [Outro] Oh come on people, it's a joke We would never hit anyone's kid, come on! I love kids... Come here and give me a hug you little rugrats! Hey, what the—what?