I don't care about kingdoms and castles I don't care about pieces of gold All I know is that I'm in the middle There's a winner, a loser, and a middle man A hammer, a sickle, and a sick old man Got the deal and the deeds to the city Got the movie rights for your life All I know is that I'm still in trouble There's a winner, a loser, and a middle man A hammer, a sickle, and a sick old man Once in a blue moon The poison comes in a potion Once in a lifetime The traps get stuck in the sand Seems like I'm always Starting up situations That we never Ever seem to command There's a winner, a loser, and a middle man A reader, a writer, and a middle man A winner, a loser, and a middle man A hammer, a sickle, and a sick old man