Neil - Lentil Nightmare lyrics

I am having a lentil nightmare everything has gone black except for the lentils in the nightmare and they're a sort of greeny, yellowy sort of colour ah ah it's the demon lentil king with his phallics of blood crazed virgins riding on their motorbikes through the hurricanes of doom to destroy everything in the universe wearing horrible viking helmets and driving much too fast and they are probably over the limit as well and I bet they have not paid any tax either Lentil nightmare k** k** k** I want veins in my teeth k** k** k** give me some kangaroo meat quickly Lentil Nightmare "and though for long he had lain low in the quietness and in the darkness, NOW WAS THE MOMENT and with one terrifying leap he sprang out of the wardrobe wearing nothing but his Y-fronts and a pair of Wellington boots and, spying himself in the mirror, he ripped in to one of the most amazing lead solos on the tennis racket since Jimmy Hendrix on the Lulu show, his machine heads glistening as he stood in a warrior pose thrusting through a wall of sound, his high precision fingers reaching a searing climax and he did make mighty battle with the empty bottles of Tizer on the bookshelf, and he did spend 10 minutes in d**hly combat with the duvet until it was vanquished and then, with stealth, he drew near his foe and in one all powerful blow he smote the curtains bringing them down in a heap at his feet, and then he faced his adversary, does anyone have a mini-cab number?"