Neil Hilborn - Static Electricity lyrics

In second grade, We did an experiment with static electricity: We rubbed balloons on our heads, And stuck them to walls. And kissing you, Is kinda like that: My hair stands on end, I get shocked when I touch things, And I want to tell you STUPID stuff, Like, Kissing you, Is a bundle of kittens, Colliding with my face, At point five miles an hour. It's like being shot by a dart gun Made of hummingbirds, That shoots darts Made of hummingbirds. And your lips are so soft, I can't actually tell when we're touching, Like braiding hair underwater, Or napping under a blanket filled with rainbows, And clouds, And your favourite books. When you kiss me, The cartoon devil and angel On my shoulders, Climb into my ears, Lick all my neurons, And start f**ing On my brain stem. And if you were a 300 pound professional weight lifter, And I were a Kia Sorento, You could drag me ANYWHERE with your lips Kissing you is patient And impossibly slow, Like peeling paint off of a wall With glittery stickers; Or cooking a turkey with a lighter. You remind me of the time when in Second grade, Bethany Hobcurk Called me a freak-face And stabbed me in the arm with a pencil, 'Cause kissing you is kinda like that: Unhealthy, And will probably end in disfigurement, But baby, Bring on the facial scars And lead poisoning. 'Cause when you kiss me, You are dangling me off a bridge By my belt. You are the screen door of my childhood, All teeth and swinging, So full of holes you can Never keep anything in. You are every black eye. You are a semi truck, And I am a turtle, With two broken legs, And a broken heart. You are illegal fireworks, Falling downstairs together, Driving on four flat tires, Playing frisbee at night with a saw blade, Kissing you is like Falling out of a 37 story window, Exploding into a cloud of robins, And reappearing on the ground With my mouth full of feathers And when I can't kiss you, I try to find the static electricity In my apartment. I dig around in wall sockets, I change lightbulbs with my teeth, And I make out with the toaster. And I know we've only been seeing each other For a couple of weeks, But baby, When you kiss me, I can't remember my middle name, Which one is my left foot. So come over tonight. We'll shuffle around the apartment In our socks, And we'll let our lips Drift toward each other, Like tectonic plates Made out of kittens