Neil Cicierega - Treasure Map lyrics

Happily this afternoon, Along the beach I waddle, Looking at the sand, I spy an old, forgotton bottle. I scoop it up, and look at it, My eyes go big and wide, For heavens yes, there seems to be, A treasure map inside. Somwhere at the tail-end, Of this twisty dotted line, A chest of gold awaits, And soon it's going to be mine. I buy a sturdy shovel, Since the treasure will be deep, I buy expensive boots, Because my old ones are too cheap. I buy a fancy compa**, And a treasure hunting cap, And off I set into the forest, Eyes upon my map. So carefully I trace the pathway, Every little bend, It's almost getting dark, Before at last i reach the end. I'm so excited, I can't help, but do a little jig. I calm myself, take out my shovel, And proceed to dig. I dig and dig, and dig and dig Until my hands begin to hurt Then finally! My teasure chest, All worn and caked in dirt. But when I look inside the chest, I only find a note, Upon it is the simple little message, And I quote: "Everybody wants to find a buried treasure chest, But noone wants to bury one, If you do, Be my guest" - Pirates are a**holes.