Neil Cicierega - Behold the FUTURE lyrics

Good morning, people of humbler times! My a**ociates and I, we come to you from the future. That's right, we come from the future and we have many stories to tell. Stories of war, stories of science, oh yes, things that will change your lives forever. But all we're prepared to divulge today is this cryptic song: In the year 2004, we were opening the door To a pathway full of sunny looking times. In the year 2005, stopwatch futures took a dive, Leaving us with nothing more than cents and dimes. In the years we've yet to see, We do not know, but we agree That there will be no rest, We'll pa** our test, Become obsessed and free. In the year 2006, we discovered magic tricks, Which we used for waging war against the odds. In the year 2007, they invited us to heaven, And we plundered the Casino of the Gods. In the years we've yet to know, There is no rain, there's only snow. And there will be no sound, No sky, no ground, So turn around and go. (And go.) In the year 2008, Don LaFontaine sealed our fate, In the shady corner of Pandora's Box. In the year 2009, we turned water into wine, Then to Diet Dr. Pepper on the rocks. In the years we've yet to see, We do not know, but we agree That there will be no rest, We'll pa** our test, Become obsessed and free. In the year 2010, we were out the door again, But our methods of respect were misconstrued. In the year 2011, we were summoned back to heaven For a lecture of unearthly magnitude. In the year 2012, we were sadly forced to delve Into a leather-bound compendium or two. In the year 2013, we destroyed the new machine, Thus completing what we thought we'd never do.