[Jenny] I'm Jenny [Sarah] I'm Sarah [Jenny] She's Sarah [Sarah] She's Jen [Both] Been best friends forever [Jenny] Well, sine we were 10. [Both] Met at ballet cla** and ever since then, we became inseparable. [Jenny] The damage was irreparable. [Sarah] Jen's like my sister. [Jenny] And Sarah's like mine! [Both] Friends till the end of the line. Had nothing much in common. [Sarah] Loved horses [Jenny] Loved shoes. [Both] But we were attached at the hip. [Sarah] Jen was like a goddess, my mentor and muse. [Jenny] She was a nerd and a drip. [Both] But we would be together every hour of the day. People would see us and say. It's Jenny and Sarah, two peas in a pod. [Sarah] Well if one pea was perfect. [Jenny] And one pea was odd. First strain, [Sarah] And spare! [Both] On the volleyball squad. [Jenny] Happy and gregarious. [Sarah] My thrills are just vicarious. [Jenny] She'd point the spotlight. [Sarah] She'd bask in the shine. [Both] Friends till the end of the line. [Jenny] My skin was just like porcelain, her's was all zits. [Sarah] My pores were perpetually blocked. [Jenny] I developed early, she had no tits. [Sarah] My cupboard was woefully stocked. [Jenny] Why would I be seen with such a social refugee? [Sarah] Cause you always looked good next to me? [Jenny] That's right! So we were Jenny and Sarah, a vulgar display. [Sarah] The queen of the prom. [Jenny] And her weird protege. I starred! [Sarah] I ran lights! [Both] In the school cabaret. [Jenny] I mean have you heard Sarah sing? Good golly it's embarra**ing. [Sarah] Ahh... [Both] We were contrary forces, who somehow combined. Friends till the end of the line. [Sarah] Then something crazy happened, right after 12th grade. That summer I blossomed and bloomed. I stepped into the sunlight, after years in the shade. And a beautiful swan was exhumed. [Jenny] Meanwhile I was working at the local Dairy Queen and bloomed up to plus size 16... [Sarah] Uh. Jenny... [Jenny] 18...It's just so delicious. [Sarah] We both showed up to college, and no need to pretend, I was popular right off the bat. And everyone was asking, "Sarah who is your friend? The one who's so..." [Jenny] Interesting? [Sarah] Fat. All this malice aimed at Jenny was quite startling and new. So I did what all best friends would do. I said I'm Sarah, she's Jenny. We used to be close, now she's desperate and clingy and sort of morose. I heard she gobbles Peanut Buster parfaits by the gross. In all the world is there a sight, more tragic than this parasite? [Both] So that is our story, and ain't it divine? Friends till the end of the... [Sarah] The cold bitter end... [Jenny] I guess... [Both] This is the end of the line!