Neil Bartram - I'm Allergic to Cats lyrics

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Neil Bartram - I'm Allergic to Cats lyrics

Good evening Dr. O'Hara, I'm glad you could make it. I know it's frustrating getting to midtown at this time of day. The uptown and "R" is a pain. Not to mention the rain. But thank you for coming, sir. I've got something to say. I'm allergic to cats. That's part of the reason that I asked to have dinner with you. I'm allergic to cats. I know it's hardly a life-threathning medical hullabaloo. See, when I was born, they expected me later. So I spent two months in an incubator. Ever since that. I can't be near a cat. I can tell by your smirk, you think this is silly and borderline PHOBIC, perhaps. But this innocent quirk, can cause such a violent reaction my lungs could collapse! So, bear with me sir, this is nothing sorted. Your patience, I promise, will be rewarded. I'm really not bats! Just allergic to cats. But Julie, Julie loves cats. As you know, they're her pa**ion and joy. She knits them little sweaters and crochets them hats. For their birthdays, she saws them their own special toy. There's Meowser, Ms. Mew, Cookiepuss, Alexander. Her couch is a playground of pee and dander. So I cough and I wheeze, pop a fistful of Claritine-d's, try to hide before anyone sees. I'm allergic to cats. For over a year, I've hidden from Julie each anaphylactic display. 'Cause she's such a dear, If she knew cats make me suffer she'd give them away. But she is my world, I live for her truly. Julie loves cats, And I love Julie. So she tickles their toes, And I smile while my throat starts to close, But I valid, she'll never suppose. I'm allergic to cats. Well, Dr. O'Hara I feel that I've buried the headline. The point of this story is murky, I'll have to concede. I hope that I've shown you tonight. I love your daughter with all of my might! So, humbly I stand, asking you for her marital hand. What in life will be blissful and grand. With Julie! And Meowser! Ms. Mew! Cookiepuss, Alexander, The dander! The pee! And me!