Neil Bartram - Mrs. Remington lyrics

{alvin} "the beginning". a story about alvin kelby My mom passed away in the summer i turned six Write that down {thomas} Alvin, what's the point? {alvin} Trust me! (thomas writes in his notebook, sometimes listening to alvin's retelling of the story and sometimes referring to the pages that alvin has given him.) {thomas} "alvin's mom passed away in the summer he turned six-" {alvin} Good! And left a single father and his son But dad had the bookstore With a leaky roof to fix So i was on my own Facing the unknown The terrifying prospect of Grade one But at thе time, how was i to see A kind and gentle soul Was waiting thеre for me? Mrs. remington, our first grade teacher Made elementary school a better place But her single most disturbing feature Was the coarse black hair on her face Maybe she was menopausal Lack of estrogen will cause a lot of odd conditions Some acute The irony would never phase her Namesake of a famous razor! And to be so facially hirsute But mrs. remimgton smiled And she would brighten my day Back then, a teacher hugged you To make you feel okay Though my face sorta stung From mrs. remington's beard When she held me, my problems disappeared Mrs. lynch was an ignoramus Mr. pollack was just plain mean! Mrs. remington was nearly famous For her parties at halloween Pumpkinheads of every shape Were cut out of construction paper Each and every one would be displayed The highlight for the children Was to make a really special costume For the yearly halloween parade Mrs. remington smiled And she was clearly content As she lovingly presided over this, the main event So we'd nervously walk Past her critical eyes And we'd vie for mrs. remington's top prize {thomas} There was this one kid wearing cardboard wings, a coathanger halo, carrying a bell and a homemade book that said "tom sawyer". nobody had a clue what he was supposed to be- {alvin} -except me! (alvin sits at the table as though it were a school desk.) Ooh! ooh! ooh! mrs. remington! Pamela koshan thought he was the statue of liberty Mrs. remington, i know! {thomas} Donnie carter thought he was a thanksgiving turkey! {alvin} Mrs. remington, i know!! He's clarence, the angel from "it's a wonderful life"! he was my mother's favorite! {thomas} The class laughed... {alvin} I cried... ...and mrs. remington announced that... i was next! But mrs. remington smiled In that way that she had A smile that made you realize That things were not so bad And i knew from her face That this feeling would pass So i went to take my turn before the class {thomas} Those poor kids were still trying to figure out who the heck clarence was... {alvin} ...when i shuffled onto the platform in fuzzy slippers and bathrobe, with pink sponge curlers in my hair! "alvin kelby," mrs. remington said: "and what are you supposed to be?" "i'm a ghost The ghost of my mother!" (pause) Lunch that day was awful lonely Sitting by myself And only wearing fuzzy slippers and chenille While all the kids were making fun In came mrs. remington With clarence dragging slowly on her heel "clarence," she said, "i'd like you to meet mrs. kelby. she's a big fan of yours!" And mrs. remington smiled 'cause mrs. remington knew That the battlefield of childhood Was easier with two Mrs. remington watched As the angels do And on halloween that year She saw two masks disappear When my mother met her angel And i met you!