National Lampoon - Kung Fu Christmas lyrics

[Verse 1] Midnight in a ghetto street A desperate boy wants something to eat ('Cause he's dead on his feet) To the man in the squad car, it's just his beat (He don't care, he don't live there He lives in Queens Not Manhattan or the Bronx or Brooklyn) A thief on the roof, a mugger in the hall (Stick 'em up, Stick 'em up) A baby on the floor eating paint off the wall (How's he gonna grow tall?) But there's one time of year that brings joy to one and all (When every race has a smile on its face) [Chorus 1] Junkie on the corner, the pusher uptown Digging the Yuletide, Santa's getting down Holiday colors of red and green Turkeys getting fat and the gangsta lean Numbers runner stops for a chat The Apollo doorman tips his hat and he says: [spoken] Have a Kung Fu Christmas [Verse 2] Living in the ghetto, you always lose They'll shoot you for your socks, and they'll stick you for your shoes When you're a super bad dude, you pay super bad dues (Where fear and strife is a way of life) But there's a man coming today with lots of loot He's got a pimp-mo sleigh and a red fur suit (He's a Super Fly guy, and he's awful cute He's about to arrive, bringing Jingle Bell jive) [Chorus 2] Santa Claus making the Soul Train scene Slicking down his beard with Afro Sheen Eeny meeny and miney mo Frost in your hair and snow up your nose Diamond in the back, trimmed with holly My girls on the street and I'm feeling jolly Christmas Eve's coming with the last-minute bustle Santa tells the elves, "You'd better do The Hustle"