Natalie Marie Howell - Take a look at me now lyrics

Take a look at me now 14 months ago when I was still at may fild park apartments I was in 8th grade at the time and you where about to move you wanted something of wich I could not give you case I didint have anything for you you held on to my arm and you pleaded for me to go back in the house and cheek again I finnaly started to walk away and you held on to my arm again you wanted me to go back in the house and cheek again then you fell and scraped your back and started yelling at me like its my falt as we headed through the ditch wasn't long when we where heading for the bridge around the coner befor you said I wasn't a good friend that I didint care about anyone else but my self I ignored it and kept going you kept nagging me I just had to turn around and yell what the hell do you want do you rember what you said you said you wanted me to suffer the way you did you felt so violated than we kept walking you started pushing me now we reach the bridge on the outher side where you said you think your life is so perfect well its not and you need to stop saying that it is case its not well you can keep pretending your life is perfect while I live my non perfect life case at least I can say my life isint perfect I just couldn't belive what you just said that I turnd around and said b**h I dont know where you got the ida of my life being perfect case you sure as hell didint get it from me infact you have no ida how lossed or how I feel inside my life is far from perfect than you told me you I wish you would regret this day that you will not sleep case of this day and I was frozen solid I didint know what to say or do I felt my heart stop I couldn't breath I couldn't move I blacked out while my legs where frozen solid than I was looking for you I was too late you where already gone and your wish came true I haven't slept since and I stoped eating from time to time case of your wish and now I just want you to look at me now take a look at me take a look at me take a look at me im so much worse now than what I was 14 months ago I cry myself to sleep almost every night case I want to tell you how I feel inside just take a look at me now take a look at me now take a look at me now what do you see now I can't even look at my self with out feeling sick than everyone else makes me feel like I dont belong in this world so I try to k** myself but than they all freak out and end up talking me out of it and I can't do this anymore you and everyone else they know who they are but you keep pissing me off and I can't get mad case im not allowed to be mad at anyone for anything I wish you could take a look at me now take a look at me now take a look at me now and tell me is this what you wanted never mind dont answer that one day . it was a day if i rember correctly I was thinking of you and what we went through I tryied to hold back the tears in my eyes but I ended up having 6 melt downs befor the school day was over and that night my eyes flooded with tears I was crying for about 2 hours stright all case I know I will most likely never be able to talk things out with you or if you would even let me if I did happen to run into you take a look at me now take a look at me now THIS SONG WAS WRITTEN BY NATALIE MARIE HOWELL AGE 16 TYPED BY NATALIE MARIE HOWELL AGE 18