Natalie Marie Howell - I will always blame myself 4 everything lyrics

I will always blame myself 4 everything for so long I tried to hold everything inside all the pain and lies I been crosswired so many times that I dont know what is real and whats not I wonder if there is anything im good at at all but right now the only thing I cant stop thinking about is the 3 of you Chrelle, Korrey and Fayth you know I care for all 3 of you and thats never gonna change I am sorry I lied to you abut going to furs I shouldnt have done that and im sorry but please belive me when I said I wasnt ignoring you at all whey would I when you called me my radio was playing and it didint turn off when you called so I had a hard time hearing you so I tried to turn my radio off but in order to do that I had to trun my phone off yet you just kept calling and calling thinking I was ignoring you when I wasnt now because of me our frindship might be over and still have this lump in my throught of crying and screaming till my head blew off or till I fall asleep and hope I dont wake up we grew up togather and till now where falling apart I rember getting draged into every battale between you and Marissa I wanted to find a way where you all could just get along and accept each outher for who you are but as you can see that just blew up and some how I always mange to blame myself case thats what I do when something anything goes wrong I find a way to blame myself im sorry lying to you about furs I shouldnt have I tried so hard to keep so manny secrets I got so cross wired I messed up and now where falling apart Cherelle rember how you asked me if I thought you would make a great mouther and I said yes I still belive you you can and will make a great mouther just hang in there dont give up Korrey I know your not stupid I never thought you where I said what I said because im still having to keep secrets between all of you weather you see it or not I tried to keep us all togather but all I did was tear us apart now where all just falling apart at least I am I still care about Fayth as if she was my own always have always will and Cherelle I know you where worried about having anouther misscarrige and when you told me about the ones you had befor and that if you where to have anouther misscarrige you could go to jail for child indangerment so I asked God to give this child to you I hear your pregant again and might have a boy I just hope youll be ok that whats ganna happen now im not sure I just want to know this is our frindship over for good do you want to talk to me or will you shut me out of your life either way right now and till the day I die I will always blame myself for everything that goes wrong I will always blame myself for everything I will always blame myself for every thing that goes wrong THIS SONG WAS WRITTEN BY NATALIE MARIE HOWELL AGE 18 TYPED BY NATALIE MARIE HOWELL AGE 18