N. Talekt - In My Loving Memory lyrics

[listen] Http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11217214 [verse 1] Never made it to the clouds, they sent me to hell Looking back, i kind of wish they'd put me in jail Maybe if I sat in a cell, I'd think twice Let my words speak louder, 'cause my actions, they yelled The crimes i committed, i did to myself Bars around my thoughts, i built them myself Welcome to my nightmare, palace of pain Moat around the castle but it's not what you think Ain't to keep nobody out, that's to lock me in To my chagrin, boxed in with thoughts of sin Now lots of men would probably give in, i never did I could thank my momma for that, but i never will Cuz she was never there, a spot never filled Nevertheless, i cared, but now i never feel Heart turned cold, built of steel So i'd turncoat anybody just to get a pill Hope to get accepted, looking for appeal Cost of livin way to high to fit the bill Nobody understands how i feel When i compare life to an overtime game in the nfl When you start and finish, score still the same Whole things decided by at coin flip at center field Try to open their eyes so we can see the same Bribed 'em wit a centerfold, they don't wanna change the page ... they just see a beautiful picture I'm stuck in this spot, ain't a suitable fixture! My friends turned foes, i refuse to forgive 'em So i block out the pain, i don't choose to remember The thoughts in my brain all allude to the winter Darkness and rain, that's included with shivers Life seems like a game, losers and winners But you're born then you die so it feels like a tie Still regret's in my eyes, since i realize Everybody got a position, i ain't fulfill mine My team paid the cost 'cause i crossed the line Those charges, so heartless, my response is Dope sparkin', ride high, no harness My life, broke artist, jj, good times Good bye, see you on the other side of karma Hope to be reincarnated with some honor Offer farewells, see u never agains And advice on this page of my pad with a pen Take a good look around ya circle of friends I guarantee you're probably in the same position they're in Look into the mirror, examine how you're livin If you see your goals slippin, high target, keep missin' Your choice, your decision, the fast life don't slow But you'll grow old and you can't go the distance See any stresses you dealt with, i felt it And kept it in captive until it turned septic But dammit, that's life, don't forget to count blessings And don't take offense, take the lesson [Peacefully sleeping, resting at last His weary trials and troubles past In silence he suffered, in patience he bore Til' God called him home, to suffer no more] Look in my eyes, say hi to my enemy Life on the edge, disguising my misery Took me to die to realize what it did to me, i Give you my life, in my loving memory