Mr. Maddox - Proud. lyrics

[Verse 1] That bad young muthaf**a Never knew his dad young muthaf**a Gave everything that he had young muthaf**a, but he never made no one glad Muthaf**as Acting like it was just whatever whether weather tore me down or it made me get my sh** together Living life like it was better but you better believe being down was the regular Show time. I'm like Mordecai Blue, but that's sh** that I gotta hide Putting it away cuz I gotta make you n***as proud Gotta live up to the name n***as never know n***as never know how ashamed I be feeling cuz my feelings feel wrong Pray to God that you never hear the lyrics to this song I'll never make you proud cuz I been on my [Chorus] Worst behavior I'll never make you proud Letting my feelings out now Muthaf**as never loved us Wait til you see me at the top Imma make my damn self proud Imma make my damn self proud. Muthaf**as never loved us I'm a bad n***a anyway Never had nobody anyway All I ever do is let you n***as down anyway. Muthaf**as never be proud anyway [Verse 2] Make milli's for ya famila Well you should since ya music is so illy, huh? Be silly. Act giddy Whatever you gotta do to please us You don't need no b**h since you gotcha mama Maybe making money might make you stay from the drama. Chase the commas Getcha knowledge Just do what I say cuz you ain't go no power Man f** that sh**, I'm Maddox the Great I'm my own entity not a puppet that you raised Just wait, just watch. I can make it my way Doing things I desire I'm in dire need of liberation Lady luck's a little too late for my aiding Imma make it. Keep me out your conversation Finna find a way to flee from that fake sh** I guess I'm on my [Chorus] [Verse 3] I've taken time, toiling away so I could make you proud Put away the pieces of me that I knew would make you frown Fixing up my f**ing fantasies so they could fit your style Still I'm struggling so you gon hate me when I get up out This is not to one in particular Y'all got a unit, I'm just an individual Looking at your centerfold life thinking what it'd be like if my square peg self would ever fit inside your hole Wholehearted hopes of having happiness had me having to keep myself in check But honestly it bothers me that my family doesn't notice they're the reason I'm depressed Do I chose my own happiness and cause them some stress Do I say fam is best, I rot and get no rest Look to God "Is this just a test? Do you know what's best?" Feel like sh** for questioning him, left with more regrets I'm even letting God down I never held him up but the sh** that I been doing doesn't make him proud I could turn to smoking loud, but I'm better than that I've been doing fine without I hope karma doesn't k** you crazy n***as Been doggin me but deep down I know I need you n***as Won't say though cuz I'll look like a child s**s, but it seems I'm happier when you not proud [Chorus] You say I'm on my worst behavior. I guess I can't make you proud I know I need God now Did you n***as ever love us?