Mr. Blackston - Final Exit lyrics

Weighin' the options of life and d**h Fantasizin', goddamn it'd be nice to rest A .38 Smith & Wess' up against my flesh A n***a finally feelin' blessed once the trigger's pressed Deep thoughts about my family, how would they react? Insomniac, left his world like a maniac A self-inflicted gunshot left me stretched out Stressed out, so depressed I chose the best route My family probably havin' fits cause I called it quits My n***as mad cause they probably think it was a b**h That shoe fits but it's small like a combination No b**h alone can send me to eternal condemnation sh** I'm facin's got me sittin' at the edge of my bed Head achin' cause I'm cryin' as I beg to be dead I can't wait until this hot slug enters my head Finally for Mark tears are eventually shed Dear God, I can't believe my life has come to this I soak my arms up in ice tryin' to numb my wrist I think about the opportunities I've had and blown Got nothin' else to do but think cause I'm that alone My hope is gone, went to college but I f**ed it up Got kicked out, but my heart told me: s** it up! So I did, spent the next few years in hell I'm losing job after job seein' dreams fail Seein' n***as who ain't sh** get the luxuries Nice guys finish last, who gives a f** for me? Reluctantly put the barrel underneath my chin My only witness is my best friends, weed and gin They know my sin cause I talk to 'em every night My forty ounce is always there when me and God fight I close my eyes tight, ready for the twilight My life and d**h is just another ghetto highlight Goodbye life [ Chorus 2X ] Dear God, do you listen when I cuss you out? Don't it provoke you to respond to what I'm fussin 'bout? Don't it concern you that I'm losin' my belief Confusion from ma**ive grief got me on my knees Why you refusin' to send relief? I spend most of my lonely existence thinkin', conversatin' Tellin' the master of creation what I'm contemplatin' Arguin', sometimes yellin', tears swellin' Threatenin' to put one in my melon, finally expellin' My tormented soul from this unbearable hell I dwell in Searchin' like Magellan to exit this hole I fell in This hole I live in, askin' God am I not forgiven For my crimes in a previous life Was I a sinner cursin God in a devious life? Does Jesus Christ hold a grudge against me while others live the easiest life? With no struggles, no stress, no test Never knowin' demons like loneliness, never depressed Never jobless, never on they hands and knees Beggin' God please cure this poor man's disease Was everything in church just religious fantasies Destroyed by science findin' ancient man's debris? If you listenin' God speak to me and answer these Questions we been askin' since we covered plants with leaves Why do good people feel Satan's wicked embrace? Why are good people sick and displaced? Why are good people forced to live a life that is empty and stressed? While the wicked seem happy and blessed Talk to me, the devil's tryin' to walk through me Will you respond or will the coroner be forced to put the chalk to me? [ Chorus ]