Moxy Fruvous - Huge on the Luge lyrics

Grandpa hated winter Couldn't stand the site of snow He got surly and bitter when Cold winds began to blow Snowflakes made him dizzy He hated winter sports And he wished ill will On little kids Building snow ball forts Snow angels made him vomit Snowmen raised his ire He said, "They remind me of the Kaiser!" As he stoked a melting fire Well it rolled round to December He always wished he'd ne'er been born But that all changed the year He got a high-speed luge on Christmas morn. 'Cause he was huge on the luge When his cheeks went rouge No fluke in a toque Sub-zero centrifuge Look at grandpa cruise Like a demon on the booze Not a stooge like Scrooge But really huge on the luge He made himself a luge track He packed it down with ice He waxed his luge most everyday Made sure the blades would slice Took sharp turns without slowing down That took a lot of guts Called himself the northern nugget But grandma called him nuts 'Cause he was huge on the luge When his cheeks went rouge No fluke in a toque Sub-zero centrifuge Look at grandpa cruise Like a demon on the booze Not a stooge like Scrooge But really huge on the luge Folks came from miles around to see This crazy bugger race At his Olympic octogenarian Frost bitten feisty face Then one day, at a time trial He broke the speed of sound And to this day his beloved luge and he Still have not been found 'Cause he was huge on the luge When his cheeks went rouge No fluke in a toque Sub-zero centrifuge Look at grandpa cruise Like a demon on the booze Not a stooge like Scrooge But really huge on the luge 'Cause he was huge on the luge When his cheeks went rouge No fluke in a toque Sub-zero centrifuge Look at grandpa cruise Like a demon on the booze Not a stooge like Scrooge But really huge on the luge