Morgan_spiehs - Experiment 6 lyrics

How to be a journalism major: First, ready yourself to be called by the wrong name. This will go on for quite a while. Much longer than one would expect people to stop calling you Marjorie when you're name is Mallory. The University's president's name is Mallory so you'll be confused why it's a difficult for the student paper's staff members to remember. You'll learn how to sit back and listen to these strangers chat about American Spirit cigarettes and Pabst Blue Ribbon. After all, you just learned what P.B.R. stands for. Remind yourself you need to look up “Natty Light.” When you finally get invited to your first party, you will bring the wrong alcohol. Don't worry, you'll get a new nickname from this and people will stop calling you Marjorie. Don't bring Mountain Dew and vodka in a gas station Big Gulp cup no matter how easy it is to sneak out of the dorms. When the senior you've hardly talked to is aching and angry because they didn't place in College Journalist of the Year, don't sit too close to him. Though you've only sat next to him, he'll take this as a sign you're begging him to cheat on his girlfriend. If he kisses you and you don't stop him, you can always blame it on the Mountain Vodka. When you get your first internship at a weekly newspaper in a town you've heard of twice, focus on how great it will look on your resume, how this puts you miles ahead of others your age. Because, chances are, once you get there, you'll be happy it took you two weeks to find out this job is a bust. You'll live in an apartment in a small town with no lock on the door. Not because they don't want to or forgot to put a lock on the door, but because this is a town similar to Mayberry. You'll bet you're stipend everyone in town watches The Andy Griffin Show reruns at 1 pm. When you're invited to travel abroad on a selective documentary trip to Kazakhstan, don't expect your parents to act proud. They'll be too worried about remodeling their lake house or your brother's most recent DUI. Their glad they have an excuse not to look up where Astana is on the map. Take up that girl in your cinema cla** on a coffee date. She'll undoubtedly rip out your heart and river dance on it. But it'll be worth all the trouble when she pays for the expensive dinner you shared as she announces her relocation to Iceland to work on an organic farm. When you decide you're too mature for college and apply for jobs, prepared to finish cla**es online, you should really reconsider. I know you think you'll like the real world better. But you won't. And I know every college-graduated failure you've met told you to stay in college as long as you can. Listen to them. I know they're wearing a Mumford & Sons shirt, but trust me. They're actually right about this one. You'll understand when you get your first check and wonder what in the world the state needs with so much of your money. You'll find yourself annoyed by where the neighbors in the town home next to you keep their recycling bin. You'll really understand when you wonder how to feel 22 years old when you are 22 years old.