Monty Python - Medical Love Song lyrics

Inflammation of the foreskin Reminds me of your smile I've had balanital chancroids For quite a little while I gave my heart to NSU (Non-Specific Urethritis) That lovely night in June I ache for you, my darling, And I hope you'll get well soon My penile warts, your herpes, My syphilitic sore, Your monilial infection How I miss you more and more Your dobies itch my scrum-pox Ah, lovely gonorrhea At least we both were lying When we said that we were clear Our syphilitic kisses, Sealed the secret of our tryst You gave me scrotal pustules With a quick flick of your wrist Your trichovaginitis Sent shivers down my spine I got snail tracks in my an*s When your spirochetes met mine Gonococcal urethritis Streptococcal balanitis Meningomyelitis Diplococcal catholitis Epidydimitis Interstitial keratitis Syphilitic coronitis And anterior ureitis. My clapped-out genitalia Is not so bad for me As the complete and utter failure Every time I try to pee My doctor says my buboes Are the worst he's ever seen My scrotum's painted orange And my balls are turning green My heart is very tender Though my parts are awful raw You might have been infected But you never were a bore I'm dying of your love, my love I'm your spirochaetal clown I've left my body to science But I'm afraid they've turned it down Gonococcal urethritis Streptococcal balanitis Meningomyelitis Diplococcal catholitis Epidydimitis Interstitial keratitis Syphilitic coronitis And anterior ureitis.