Momus - Oskar Tennis Champion lyrics

Uncle Oskar, an intensely idealistic tennis star Goes to see a guru at an architecture seminar It seems the radiant city will soon be ushered in Where all things will be modular and rational and clean Green space, tennis, pleasures all planned And nothing, says the man, to fear or fail to understand The world will be 'Ein Lichtspiel Schwartz-Weiss-Grau' As predicted by the experts at the Bauhaus, Dessau Oh, Oskar Tennis Champion, we're sorry for your frau Now Moholy Nagy is your holy cow My uncle is inspired to start his dream home right away He steps out of the hall, but in his hurry, to his great dismay He fails to see the rake, it bangs him in the face Causing him to trip and, to his horror and disgrace A barrel of mola**es hanging dangling in the sky Falls upon my uncle and it hits him in the eye It trickles down his back, my uncle's quickly stuck To the sleepers of the nearby monorail track Oh, Oskar Tennis Champion, uh-oh wow Who but Le Corbusier could save you now? Next time we see our hero two experimental trains Are hurtling down the monorail towards my uncle's balls and brains Then comes a bolt of lightning, a sudden cut in power My uncle sees the whole façade of a residential tower Crashing down towards him, he doesn't worry though His survival is a**ured by the position of the window Oh, Oskar Tennis Champion, what's up doc? Help, he goes, send Adolf Loos or the Keystone Cops! Oh, Oskar Tennis Champion, it's all gone wrong Who knew you'd see Utopia but you'd be King Kong? Oskar Tennis Champion, uh-oh wow Can pompous Walter Gropius save you now? Ultra-modernism it's a drag When Jacques Tati and Buster Keaton write your gags