Milo - A Lazy Coon's Obiter Dictum lyrics

[Intro] O Cra**a ingenium, O ico coelus spectatoris [Verse 1] I heard a robot pronounce my last name correctly And in what I thought was my own dream it told me to stop interjecting For some reason I obeyed and promptly crossed the street But first I looked both ways Caught a glimpse of a paradigm shift riding down the block on an old Schwinn Cycle Suddenly my id materialized on a fixed gear At the senior wine tasting with mixed fears and a bu*ton up And my f**ing gla**es keep smudging And even in the important cla**es I keep fudging Got a job as the school tour guide I'm no visitor from Mars I'm a normal guy with too many Lichtenberg Scars These thick-witted blind sky watchers think they're mind's eye doctors but they're gougers Scalping tickets on the Freedom Trail I just want my liberty to fail Sorry I'm a bother A mostly constant gardener Let, let, let, let me take a dip in this Lazarus pit [Hook] If I wasn't such a lazy coon then I could probably hold hands with Sailor Moon [x2] [Verse 2] I want Ra's al Ghul's facial hair In certain places I've worn spacetime threadbare Took a peek through the wormhole and saw Danny Brown's tongue floating I'd call it showboating but this is the Millenium Falcon I burp in coding language and surpa**ed being very good at holding in anguishes Poke a hole through the side vortex To strengthen my mind's forceps All the while the taximeter is still running I've got clogged drains for inner monologue plumbing My brain has too many folded wrinkles I sat beneath the purple rain and felt the tiny sprinkles Rappers say they form like Voltron That was a children's show I'm laser etching my name in the Philosopher's stone [Pre-Hook] Inhale, exhale I think I'm Nick Flamel, Bertrand Russell Add Dwayne Johnson, sans the muscle Why was the man running though? I do a dance called the Know-It-All [Hook] [Verse 3] Get anxious and hideout Playing Pokemon in the potty room Reread all this Twitter spam that “I too could be a very naughty groom” Don't date girls who don't know who Neil deGra**e Tyson is Tattoo clever pickup lines on the inside of my eyelids Ate a Freezie Pop and made a mess on my tank top again Burdened me with particle waves Personman is at least partially saved Inundate my corpse with illegal copies of FinalCutPro Reading the Eden Express Getting spacey in my basement lair Stealing free coffee cups at the college involvement fair Your favorite rap writer looks like he's He-Man's weed man Another night ruined by a bad torrent seed. Damn Retiring as a Trader Joe's grocery store greeter put me on the list of serial mistake repeaters I don't dream. That's much worse than a nightmare Travel beyond infinity like a black Buzz Lightyear My mind is a stupid doo-hickey that's constantly surmising The internet is a treefort that was built for hiding I used to want to be a flautist but the most delicate fingers My emotional well has a rotten scent that lingers [Pre-Hook + Hook]