MikelWJ - Aurora lyrics

Matt Foster: So tell me again Michael, why did you try to k** yourself? Michael: Stress. Depression. Loneliness. Take your pick Matt Foster: I understand that, but I am going to need for you to be a little bit more specific, so that we can find a way to fix the problem quickly Michael: You can't fix it Matt Foster: I wouldn't be too sure about that. I've found through working here that just about everything can, in one way or another, be fixed. Especially people Michael: I don't even want to be here Matt Foster: Well, you are going to be here for at least another 72 hours, maybe more if we decide that you aren't stable enough to leave our care. Now, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself, instead of just diving right into the suicide question Michael: I guess I can do that [Verse One: MikelWJ] I grew up in a “small town” with a brother and mom And a father who had moved away when I was still young So I never got attached or learned to be like a man So I guess this deviation wasn't part of my plan Our street was quiet and safe, I saw the rules I could break Then I flipped them all around and took the things I could take My neighbors said I was kind, I guess it stuck in my mind Since I just wanted to help, but it just put me behind Then in the hospital bed, I learned my life was a lie Since a lot of my friends are the reason I want to die I don't take meds anymore, I bashed my head in the door Since the writers block was k**er, making music a chore I thought I had a f**ing gift, but I just got it taken And I didn't know a way that I could lower frustration I stayed up almost all night, the night I didn't feel right And that leads us to the reason that I stand in your sight Matt Foster: I see, I see. It's good to hear you have a hobby that makes you happy, but you are still being vague. Do you think you can tell me some more? I'm trying to get a full picture of everything that has happened. So please, continue Michael: Alright [Verse Two: MikelWJ] My brother used to be different, was either violent or missing He closed his bedroom door whenever he was feeling dismissive Slept with a knife by my bed, I had it stuck in my head That if he ends up getting angry, I'd be injured or dead I never wanted to be him, and so I bottled my anger I didn't yell at other people, so I made that my anchor I may have made a mistake, my anger just got replaced With the doubt and depression that left me feeling displaced I haven't been diagnosed, I think bipolar comes close But you're the one with the degree, so I'll let you let me know I've seen a counselor or two, none of them knew what to do So if you have a new suggestion, trust I'll follow it through I haven't done well in cla**, I'm worried I'll never pa** My best friends a freaking genius while I'm running in last I think my teachers gave up, since all my efforts would s** And they stopped their disappointment, like they don't give a f** Matt Foster: Things are starting to make a little bit more sense now. A troubled early life, as well as an inability to perform adequately in school. It makes sense that you would be under a lot of stress. Is there anything else you can tell me? Michael: There's always more that I can tell people Matt Foster: Alright, well, you can start whenever you're ready [Verse Three: MikelWJ] Every day after school, I'd rush home to my room I have no one to hang out with, thats just what I a**ume I seem to only disappoint at every point in my life Both my family and friends will never tell me I'm right They only mention the failure, which isn't isn't helpful to me Since the thing they should be looking at is my self esteem I constructed my world, perfection down to a curl Since I thought that she was everything I want in a girl I spent a couple hundred dollars in a couple of days Wishing we were still a couple in a couple of ways I guess I made a mistake, since now she thinks I'm a fake And if you ask me, that's the single worst mistake I could make I felt a little confused, forgot the things that I'd lose And I hastily abandoned something I could have used It's a sh**ty excuse, but still the best I can do Every single word is true, but my perspective is skewed Matt Foster: Well, that is all very interesting. Thank you for sharing with me. I think we can end this meeting here, I believe it's almost lunch time, so you may want to get to the lunch room before everyone else gets their food. We will talk again tomorrow Michael: Okay, that works. See you later then, I guess Matt Foster: Have a good rest of your day, Michael Michael: I will definately try