MikelWJ - Serendipity and Zemblanity lyrics

[Verse One: MikelWJ] I've always had this mentality that's been laced with neutrality So please look in my history book to see my reality I've had trouble adjusting the more attention I got And people think for some reason that they deserve a response From someone mildly famous who put his heart through a lot I understand how you think, but we won't be friends on the spot Since I'm not looking for friends, you'll find I'm far too complacent And if you start getting close, I'll push you back to acquaintance My lines are vivid and honest, giving a glimmer of hope I'll switch from co*ky to modest multiple times in a note Just to turn and tell the world it's a metaphor or a joke Then to burn all of my bridges and disappear in the smoke I'll only see it fit to quit when all my fans say it's over So when they outgrow my lyrics I'll feel release on my shoulders Free my mind of this boulder, praying that will peace will come through But I still will have the thoughts, I just won't tell them to you [Verse Two: MikelWJ] This is the welcoming track, the one they play for the choir Proclaiming God's come back, with all his thoughts on the wire Feeling so mixed and un-matched at the top of his empire So he'll let it collapse if it means that he's going higher I'm afraid that any second I'll just fall off the earth Exit other people's minds, losing all of my worth But if I end up falling off, I'll just enter rebirth Since I know I'll sell records if I drink and I curse Can we quit with all this hipster sh** for more than a second It's hard to understand your subject if you're missing the lesson So while you deconstruct the words that I said in our session You'll find that ever single answer's a rhetorical question I'm done with, bullsh** excuses, from all my friends who are users Because they weren't my friend's when I was one of the losers Back in middle school and high school, I had five friends, tops Now the previously popular are giving me props [Verse Three: MikelWJ] Although I act awful awkward, I got an audible answer And I am actually asking if you can end all this anger And adopt an apathetic view to act as an anchor Also add an an*logy to allow air for error Because I'm better than broken, but I still bear all the bruises Belittled because I believed your bullsh** excuses Bent on being beautifully broken, instead of battered and bent Because I'm bringing friends down by bringing up every bend Cautiously counting on calls to counteract my confusion Collecting calm thoughts from continuous contributions Caring can't cut out the carnage, so can you call up a counselor Complain about the constant crying at every hour Demand these d**hly ideas dissipate into darkness Dying with the damned and dirty down to the heartless Delude the dishonest and drown them all in damnation Due to a dying disciple-hood's overall degradation [Verse Four: MikelWJ] Pessimistic product of power protective parenting Pins down the problem of promoting pa**ive pandering Picking up a pistol and pointing it at the people pa**ing Presently I'm praying that my d**h will be a peaceful pa**ing Fully fledged fear of the facts, but I f**ing follow friends Facing foes fiercer and faster then finding futile ends Figuring the factors of fighting failure and free f**s Your faith is freaking fractured, so fall in line all you lame ducks Spare me some seconds so I can sing you a song Satisfying sensibility of someone who's strong Secondhand selection of single stories per session Surviving simple sets of sadness that I see in succession Tell me taking my time won't turn this into something terrible I'm texting you tomorrow telling you this is unbearable Today I took thought, thinking on things I've been taught Tender things that to this point told me that there was a god [Verse Five: MikelWJ] The other day I remembered how to forget all this pain Avoid the constant reminders of all the darkness and rain Filling the streets as I walk, from your bed down the block To my house that's been waiting for me, messy and locked I made my way to my room, overcome with a new sadness Deconstructing thoughts, asking exactly what sad is My eyes are still bloodshot after breaking down crying But if you ever ask, my pride will sway me to lying I'm a genuine good guy, but it's hard to keep caring When after helping other people they keep b**hing and glaring They all keep standing and staring, with shock their seemingly muted Like they've never seen a light eyed white boy make rap music And I'm okay with that, I'm not a fan of rap, but I like punk rock, loud music, and other crap This concaving chest, is all I have I seem to have left So let me tell you all my thoughts with my last set of breath [Verse Six: MikelWJ] A pretty little poet's all that I will ever be Writing words but silhouettes is all they ever see My sorrows put to paper, my pen has saved my life This poetry's the only thing that make me feel all right The pills I take, mixed with the drink, to calm my nerves that always sink The harm I do from thoughts of you, it's sickening but damn it's true My friends don't think I mean it since my wrists don't show a scar But if you X-Ray my whole body, I'm boasting a broken heart Do I need to shed blood to show you all how I think Then let this razor be my pen and the blood be my ink This journal's all I have, it's the only place I can function I built a life around these handbooks for self-destruction I'm an outcast, that's obvious, but I need someone near How can you look me in the eyes and tell me that you'll be here? I'm sick of feeling like sh** every single time that you cry You put this gun to my head, then screamed at me not to die [Outro: MikelWJ] I'm very aware, why you want me here To write you sweet nothings, that play in your ear It's probably too late, I'm sorry I stayed But you were the one that loss I just couldn't take So stay