[Intro] Secretary: Guys Michael Bolton is here Andy: Oh great, send him in Michael: Hey guys All: Hey... thanks for coming Andy: How's it goin'? Michael: I'm really sorry I'm late I just got caught up watching the Pirates of the Caribbean marathon. Have you seen those things? All: Oh yeah, those are great Michael: Well I listened to your track and I loved it. And I wrote you this big, s**y hook I think you're gonna really dig Andy: Oh wow, that's great. You wanna just lay it down? Michael: Boys, lets get to it (to it to it to it) [Bridge: Andy Samberg (Michael Bolton)] Here we go Uh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton (Yeah) The night starts now Together on the track The boys are back The night starts now [Verse 1: Andy Samberg] The night starts now, baby, roll with us Chickies snapping at the neck when we rolling up (Michael: Rolling up) Club front doors ain't no holding up Black card at the bar like I gives a f** (Michael: Come on!) [Jorm Taccone] Ladies shifty eyed when we walk into the set f** the fellas looking jealous Play that back and get wet (Michael: YEAH YEAH) Gun at my waist shank in my sock You either get cut, get stuffed, or get shot [Hook - Michael Bolton] This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow Pirate so brave on the seven seas (Andy: What?) A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze [Verse 2: Kiv Schaffer] Yeah that was kind of weird but we're back in the club Buying up the bar so the groupies show us love (Michael: Keira Knightley!) Mothaf**ing ice man I'm the top gunna Heater on blast I'm the number one stunna (Michael: Jack Sparrow!) [Andy Samberg] Watch your girl because I ain't your mister nice guy More like the meet ya take you home and f** you twice guy (Michael: Yeah yeah!) All dressed up with nowhere to run I know I make you feel crazy when I--(Michael: Now back to the good part) [Hook] From the day he was born He yearned for adventure (Andy: NO!) Oh Captain Jack (Jorma: Yeah) Giving them what-for! He's the pauper of the surf The jester of Tortuga But in Davy Jones locker What lies in store? (Akiva: Yeah, we've seen the movie) [Verse 3: Ande Samberg] Put your hands in the air And say hell yeah, come on (Michael: Captain Jack) What? (Michael: Johnny Depp) No [Jorm Taccone] From the front to the back Say we count stacks come on (Michael: Davy Jones) Nope (Michael: Giant squid) Wrong [Kiv Schaffer] Michael Bolton, we're really gonna need you to focus up Roger that let me try it with another film (Andy: Wait) [Hook] Life is a box of chocolates and my name is Forrest Gump (Andy: Not better) Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed I give Jenny all my love (Akiva: Come ON) Okay, then I'm a legal aide Erin Brockovich is my name (Akiva: Oh God) Then you can call me Scarface Snortin' mountains of c**aine (Andy: Close Enough) You co*kroaches wanna play rough? Okay, I'm reloaded! HA HA! This is the tale of Tony Montana This is the tale! Cubano flame With Miami nuts Got a basehead wife Her womb is polluted This whole town's a p**y Just waiting to get f**ed [Outro] Andy: Okay it turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile Michael: You complete me Andy: Yeah, yeah okay