Could hardly believe it when I heard the news today Congress cut your budget right in two I guess you make people angry with the things you do and say, cuz you make us give our money straight to you But we need you real bad, though it's clear nobody really likes you You're the an*s of our country, don't you know Tell me, how are we suppose to live without you We couldn't functionally survive, no How are we supposed to live without you? And just saying this just cuts me like a knife We need the IRS to stay alive Yes, you've had f**ups, like that stupid Star Trek thing Tell me who was it who really thought of that Well I'm sorry to hear that, they got staffing problems too Their recruitment numbers at best are a little flat Now I don't wanna know just how we'd get along without them Cuz you never miss your an*s till it's gone Tell me, how are we suppose to live without you We couldn't cut your budgets till you bleed How are we supposed to love without you? And how will we pay for everything we need Like Colorado National Park procurement a**istant Brian Reed [Spoken: John Oliver] Look, IRS, you're never going to be anyone's favorite agency, you know that. You're boring. You're unlikeable But here's the thing: deep down, we need you. We need you like we need our own an*s Because like our an*s, we may not love you or like to talk about you or even want to look at you through a series of strategically placed mirrors, but deep down, we're glad you're there! Now I don't want to know what life is like without an an*s Will you think of Brian Reed? Tell me how are we supposed to live without you? We relied on you for funding for so long How are we supposed to love without you? And how are we supposed to carry on? When the only practical way to collect revenue under our current governmental system, pending a significant overhaul of the tax code, which seems unlikely at best, is gone