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am i supposed to tell someone that i'm drunk before i come over looked in mirror in bathroom at work and thought “sorry mom i'm a barber” do horseradishes live in barns method of suicide by overeating salad I crash into my swimming pool of guilt all the parents watching their children from behind camera lenses I imagine childbirth feels like a kim gordon song what if microorganisms are actually super religious and have wifi with god and that makes them smarter?