MC Paul Barman - MTV Get Off the Air Pt. 2 lyrics

[Spoken word intro] Practically every great leader was a man whose achievements were largely inspired by a woman. When things get tough -- and you can count on it, they will -- you may be deserted by what you thought were friends. But if you've got a good woman, you'll never be alone [Sung] When I was young, I used to wait On ma**'r, and hand him his plate And pa** the bottle when he got dry And brush away the blues.... [Verse One: Paul Barman] A little goon in a locker room Rat-tails, the octoroon He'll be drinking vodka soon And his big brothers are frat guys Whose IQs lose to their fitted baseball hat size Smirkin' jocks with hackysacks In Birkenstocks and khaki slacks I'm the hypest lyricist While they're like, "What type of beer is this?" The liquid is ubiquitous And has such a hold On all the strata, it's just got to be Government-controlled Behind the bottle and the throne Sits an unknown man wiser And bigger for the liquor store The number one franchiser Perhaps George Bush and his sons Are relatives of Anheuser I wanted to get in a pooper hole one day So I invited girls over on Super Bowl Sunday Only one showed up: Princess Superstar [Verse Two: Princess Superstar] Thanks for inviting me over, Let me look around Ooo, the bed post, stacked billfolds Back to back to black dil*os Nice hit, kudos Pa** the Cool Ranch Doritos I love nachos Put on Fat Joe Naw, that really s**s, let's put on the Beatles Yo, let's check the half time show I hope it's Michael Jackson Singing Satisfaction with Hanson Or Luther Vandross in a sparkling costume With big pants dancin Or maybe I saw that in a Bud Light commercial Speakin' of which, give this b**h A drink quick to wet my lips You got enough cheddar lyin' around this place To fix up my tits As if I need it... [Barman] Conchetta please! If you see any chedda' It's cheddar cheese I'm easily great I don't need to be in some sort of Ken Kesey state To create something you can appreciate [PS] Who are you talkin' to? [MCPB] Makin you draw conclusions And superficial distinctions make you go sacre bleu [PS] I can speak French too s** my nuh-nuh French my c*nt Comprenez-vous? Look Pepe Le Pew Let's cut to the denouement You wanna f** me, I wanna f** you So it's on [MCPB] Can I chime in? I'll still be rhymin' When I'm in your hymen I radiate like I was 88 And I'm searching for my lady mate I'm a hunter-gatherer A c*nter-latherer My dandy voice makes the most anti-choice Granny's panties moist I do the new when the tried and true fails Plus I'm lookin' fly in my sky blue tails Now peel off your tube top So I can feel your b**bs flop on my lubed co*k Socks up to your calf like a chick from The Craft I wanna put on a serrated condom and saw you in half [PS] My knees are weak, I need knee-pads You f** me blind, I can't see, dag! Run me a hot bath add the epsom salt Soak my lower half from your Mortal Kombat co*k a**ault Let me head south Put it in my mouth Cause I like the taste [MCPB] When I burst in your face I'll invade your personal space [PS] I'm like Chase, stick your card in and out Thanks see, look how much stacks of cream are coming out [MCPB] I removed her sanitary napkin with my teeth And there was a planetary backspin underneath I faced her wound Let's do a pap smear with a taster spoon You can sleep on the guest cot I'll sleep in the wet spot (Singing) I'll be your boyfriend Smooch on your pooper hole All through the Super Bowl Your man doesn't even miss you Glued to the b**b tube, watchya gonna do dude? I woke up sticky And quickly applied a temporary tattoo to a hickey Went to salt and shake her awake With orange juice and strong coffee cake After we had a bite We pushed the canoe in the lake [PS] You don't paddle right [MCPB] Look, a shooting star! [PS] It's a f**ing satellite [MCPB] Lady, one more complaint And I'll shove a rape-whistle up the Mrs. Va-jay-jay (starts whistling) [PS] What'd you say?!?! Listen Slim Shay-day Tell Dre he better f**in' pay me (starts laughing) [MCPB] Your talents are bite-size It's no surprise you rhyme with white guys I jumped in the water What did I want a girlfriend for? Just like you, you jizz on your floor I don't want sweet potatoes anymore I didn't even leave her an oar Did a medium crawl stroke back to shore Who's next to flirt with this exhausting extrovert? I parted some palm fronds Guess who lent me dry long johns Uncle Ralph McDaniels He said "what's up Paul Nathaniel Barman Let's get MTV off the air I deserve my own channel."