MC Paul Barman - Housemate Troubles lyrics

I faxed attorneys My housemates that smoke crack and practice taxidermy Didn't lack tact like the sackhole with the wack black leather German backpack and stack of paisley T-shirts The worst besides bombing civilians is being a lazy teacher It's hard to embellish on how hellishly selfish the nemesis is He drove the great housemate Kate off the premiseses "You're the biggest a-hole in the world!" "You're crazy!" We're both right Your mom was nice on the phone What happened to you? I'd like to crap in your brew A 12-pack of swill and when you're nappin' ooh-ooh I'll set fire to your bed, let the flames shave your head For the things to Caitlyn you said I'd leave you for dead if I could get away with it You even taped up the kitty door so no one could play with it You did the same thing to Linden To whom I served din-din I wish you were going to the hell we've been in but it doesn't exist And there's no god either No real mortal leader I need a breather! I don't need to be subtle to leave you befuddled Cause you're too lazy to write a rebu*tal Can't finish grad school think that's cool but it's sad If I wanted to watch football I'd live with my dad I make rap masterpieces You can't complete your crap Masters thesis? (Loser) Just count calories and manufacture allergies You make 5 times our salaries but you're late with the rent On time with the cable You watch Friends while we are friends All you're giving this house is crumbs on the table From a Food Not Bombs bagel Won't lend your books but there's dust on your Hegel I nearly puked when you showed up to U.S. Maple Think you're a Chapel Hill staple? Think you're subletting through April? We're getting you off the lease while you are gone cause You're a bigger a-hole than I'm considered my my label Look, when I'm being a pompous ba*tard My friends love me enough to bring me back down to their planet And so, this is a real stretch to say to you because I don't love you like, you know, they love me But you're making sure that nobody loves you, you're alienating everybody! So just beware, or you'll be alone You're a bee-itch. I hate you. Meow